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I can’t tell if I want to break up with my partner or it’s just my mental health

Nic1963Senior Contributor27 Aug 2019, 11:08 pm AEST

I can’t tell if I want to break up with my partner or it’s just my mental health

Hello,

So I’ve been thinking for a while about breaking up with my boyfriend and honestly have tried a couple times but it didn’t really work, as in, he begged me not too, so I didn’t under certain conditions, which we adhered too but now he’s going back to the same old. Sometimes I want to break up with him and sometimes I don’t and I never know what the right decision is because I don’t really know if it’s because of my mental health that I want to break up with him or stay him.

Any my thoughts are much appreciated!

3 replies

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In response to: I can’t tell if I want to break up with my partner or it’s just my mental health

CheerBearSenior Contributor28 Aug 2019, 10:17 am AEST

Re: I can’t tell if I want to break up with my partner or it’s just my mental health

Hi @Nic1963

It's super tricky when you can't work out whether you would like to be in a relationship anymore. Extra tricky when your mental health seems to cause some doubt or another layer of uncertainty.

When I was in a relationship (for want of a better word) I had to do a lot of thinking about what kind of impact it was having on my mental health and wellbeing, and whether it was bringing me more 'good' than it was taking. It took heaps of soul-searching which I found tough at times. It helped to allow myself time and space away from him to do that and to kind of assess how I was feeling about things over time rather than day-to-day.

Is there anyone in your life you're able to talk with about this, who knows you and knows about your mental health?

Hope you're looking after yourself while this is happening for you. It can be tough going.

In response to: Re: I can’t tell if I want to break up with my partner or it’s just my mental health

Nic1963Senior Contributor28 Aug 2019, 12:08 pm AEST

Re: I can’t tell if I want to break up with my partner or it’s just my mental health

@CheerBear hiiiii

thanks. Yes there is, the few I’ve spoke to about it think I should have a break from him to see what I want, similarly to what you said you did. I am in a good place at the moment, and to be honest it’s when I’m in a good place that I think about breaking up again. I would just feel bad because I do still love him and of course I would be upset, but sometimes I think love isn’t enough. And then thinking about what to do with all our stuff and the dog etc. and moving out is a lot to think about. I don’t know how anyone does it 😅☹️

In response to: Re: I can’t tell if I want to break up with my partner or it’s just my mental health

CheerBearSenior Contributor28 Aug 2019, 1:13 pm AEST

Re: I can’t tell if I want to break up with my partner or it’s just my mental health

It sounds really hard to be in love with someone but not have that be enough, or to be questioning whether that's enough @Nic1963. There was so much about the person I was seeing that I really liked and it made it hard. Having joint possessions (and a dog!) is even more that could be playing in to your decision and uncertainty with this, and that's tough.

It's great that you have people you can speak with about this. I think having people we can talk to is one way we can and do get through tough stuff.

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