Acceptance & Denial...

Hi 👋🏻 @BPTrivicalBPD

welcome to the forum 😊

I don’t have BP and therefore haven’t experienced the things you’ve mentioned but wanted to welcome you and let you know that there are many members who experience a diverse range experiences with episodes. Hopefully you’ll get a BP specific response.

I related to the 'I should be better' and being able to handle life. I also connected this to your comment on acceptance. From my perspective when I’m in acceptance of where I’m at in the moment the 'shoulds' quieter down a bit. Then I can flip and be carried away with shoulds and perhaps not accepting of me being me. I don’t have any easy answers but I think finding a way to ground and accept where you are in the moment helps with keeping the shoulds more in the background.

Best wishes 😊

@BPTrivicalBPD Hi BPTrivicalBPD and welcome to the forum :). I have schizoaffective disorder and yes I am constantly questioning have I got a mental illness. I feel fine so logically it would seem that I am better so I should come off my meds right but .... if I do and I relapse it would be horrendous. Back into hospital (shudder) depot injections .... let alone what it would do to my family, my children ..... all that kind of keeps me on the straight and narrow.

@Teej thank you for sharing and for welcoming me.

It's comforting to know I'm not alone and connect.

@Bunniekins

Thank you for sharing with me, it's comforting to see that I'm not alone.

Staying out of hospital is my priority whilst trying to stay well... Is been years since however, don't want to ever go back.

It's like ground hog day tho, however I feel I cant realise until I'm smack bang in the middle of a manic or depressive episode.

Do you have any tips when explaining to family when you feel you might not be coping?

Thank you

@BPTrivicalBPD Hey BPTrivicalBPD I am like you I am afraid I dont usually know until it is too late and I am having full blown mania. I tend to be more manic then depressive. Although I spent basically 18 months sleeping almost non stop because I was in deep depression. In full blown mania I am totally unaware of what I am doing ....... I find it is usually my close family, particularly my mother and daughter, who pick up on the fact that I am unwell because of my behaviour.

I am of little help I am sorry.... I just wanted you to know that you are not alone. I will tag outlander who has BPD (hope you don't mind outlander) she might be able to help a bit more on the explaining to family side of the equation. @outlander . Take good care of yourself BPTrivicalBPD.peaxx

My suggestions:

I accept my illness as an illness. So I treat my symptoms rather than being in constant battle with my illness. So, yes lights and sound can be hell, do what you can to reduce the stimuli. I look at it as my brains way of saying it needs some quiet time.

If you're feeling confrontational or loud, go for a walk , remove yourself from the situation until you are calm. Accept that you can't change other people, only yourself.

Head chattering try to put the inside voice into a box and swipe left or right. Consider it a text message and send it.

Noone wants to hurt you, especially not your loved ones. Only cognitive behavioural therapy will help deal with this. But again, it's a symptom, a warning sign, like your brains SOS, you need to either increase medication or try relapse prevention therapy to make sure you're ok.

Have I gone through this? Yes. Three psychotic episodes and I am Bipolar.

I hope this has helped or given you some comfort.and ideas. You're not alone.