New to being a Carer, I’m in over my head

My mum has dementia. She was recently in hospital (for a seperate issue) but it was clear she wasn’t going to be able to go home alone. My father died 2 years ago and she has lived alone since.

While she was in hospital she started hallucinating and her health issue wasn’t improving. I was told by the hospital that they wanted to put her into respite and then move her to the nursing home.

At the time I was sure most of her problems were the result of some new drugs her pill popping dr put her on. I told the hospital that I was moving in with her, which I did that day (around 5 or 6 weeks ago) and they let her come home. She’s now off the drugs, the health issue is no longer an issue, no more hallucinations - but her memory is pretty much toast.

We had a couple of small issues when she came out of hospital, she refused to eat for a while and I was pretty much force feeding her - that issue hasn’t entirely resolved but it is much better. She has also been getting pressure sores on her feet, but now I know what I’m looking for we have got on top of them before they become a huge problem.

On top of all this, there has been massive problems in my marriage and a week ago I seperated from my husband after a problem arose with my sons relationship and impending breakup, long story short I was thrown under the bus by both my husband and son and have been cut off from my 4month old granddaughter. I was also pretty much ditched by my councillor who I see for CSA, but originally started seeing 2 years ago for marriage counseling.

This afternoon my mum went for a walk around to my brothers house (small town, he only lives a couple of blocks away). My brother rang after a little while to say mum got there but was pretty upset. She said there was a woman living in her home and she was bossy and she needed to get away from her. My brother explained it was me, but she said it wasn’t - it was someone else. She then told them she wanted to die.

After they dropped her home I tried to talk to her but she got angry so I had to give up. She flatly refuses to believe she went to my brothers, she thinks she went to a friends house. She denies everything she told my brother, but she did say to me that she wanted to die.

The last week or so I have been feeling extremely trapped here. After my brothers phone call I’m completely deflated. I’ve been rejected by my husband, son, councillor and now my mother.

I just want to get in the car and drive and drive. I feel like I have no life now, this is all there is. I’m not appreciated by my family, I’m completely on my own and there is no one left to talk to.

What do I do from here?? I’m 48 years old and I feel like my life is over and I’m completely in over my head.