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Lost

Bear25Contributor24 Aug 2019, 7:05 pm AEST

Lost

Hi, I am brand new to this, so I am just going for it... Firstly a little about me. I was diagnosed with depression about 9 years ago after a workplace accident (all I did was fall over a chair) that caused me to end up permanently on crutches. I suffer chronic pain and now sever anxiety. I am a mum of 2 girls, one in her 20's and the other in her late teens. This month has been especially hard. About 3 weeks ago I was told my job was being made redundent and that I would need to apply for a new job within the company. If I don't get something I will loose my job.... Being disabled and knowing I have depression and anxiety I am terrified about getiing a new job, the job I currently have was pretty much made for me because of the acident. The stress of it is literally making me phisically ill on a nightly basis. I have been with the same company nearly 13 years and the idea of going out into the job markets scares the poo out of me!!
Now the next thing causing me to feel so stressed is my youngest daughter came home a couple of weeks ago and told my husband and I that she was sexually assulted. We are supporting her 100%. We both took the week off work. We are there for any appoimtments she needs us at, but as a parent I have to say to date it is the hardest thing we have been through. I am watching her not sleep, and when she does sleep she has nightmares... I litteraly watch her fall asleep on the couch to then see her wake 10 minutes later nearly screaming! Now my work should not matter considering what she is going through, but right now my thoughts are ... I have sick leave, I have long service, I can take the time to be with her.... but in a week all that could be gone... and we will have some shocking money issues. Everything is getting on top of me and I can't seem to take a deep breath... in saying that just typing this out helps!!!

4 replies

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In response to: Lost

Zoe7Senior Contributor24 Aug 2019, 7:34 pm AEST

Re: Lost

That all is incredibly hard for your family @Bear25 Your daughter definitely needs all the support she can get and you and your husband are providing that. Despite what has happened she felt comfotable telling you and that shows the trust she has in you both - and that is so important at this time. Nothing can change what has happened to her but having such supportive parents can do nothing but help. It will be a long road for her but having you both in her corner and able to confide in is so important.

Along with dealing with that you also have the added stress of losing the job you have been in for such a long time and having to apply for something else within the company - that would be devstating to anyone. I hear how scared you are with all this happening and the uncertainty around you. That is all so hard and there is no wonder you are feeling sick about it all. I have no advice for you but feeling very much for your situation.

What I can say is that you must have inner strength to continue on as you have after the accident and also to come on here and share some of your story with us. Both of those things are impressive and show courage. Keep digging into those reserves of strength to help you through.

In response to: Re: Lost

Bear25Contributor24 Aug 2019, 7:40 pm AEST

Re: Lost

@Zoe7 thanks for your support. I am so proud of our daughter for telling us. So many sexual assult victims never tell anyone. The fact that she told us makes me feel like I have her trust. I feel guilty for worrying about my job at a time like this, which seems to be making my anxiety worse. My girls and hubby are so incredible with their support of me, I know I am so very lucky.... but still the anxiety and depression hits me like a brick!

In response to: Re: Lost

Zoe7Senior Contributor24 Aug 2019, 7:53 pm AEST

Re: Lost

That is what anxiety and depression does to us @Bear25 - makes us doubt everything and we never feel confident in our own abilities. Do you have a support team or person that you see for your anxiety and depression. It can often help to be able to talk through some of this with someone outside the family. It is great that you do have that family support though - it makes it just that little bit easier to deal with things.

Your daughter showed great strength herself to tell you and your husband - things like this can eat away at us - especially if it is never disclosed. Having that trust in you both is a really good start to helping her deal with it. It will be a long road for her but having you both there for her supporting her is so important.

In response to: Lost

Unknown userMember24 Aug 2019, 8:41 pm AEST

Re: Lost

Hello again @Bear25 .. and well done for starting your own thread. I know you will receive support here from others who can support you.

I am not feeling well tonight, but wanted you to know I have read your post and will get back to you later or soon. For your information, I am someone who has experienced a sexual assault ... and never spoke to anyone about it for nearly 20 years. So I greatly admire your daughter for having spoken to you and her dad about what happened to her. I also have to say ... good on you for enabling your daughter to know that she could talk to you about such an emotionally charged occurence. Its definitely not easy. I have subscribed to this thread and will follow along the discussion. And will chime in when or if I am able.

I also had a workplace accident, which resulted in me being permanently incapacitated . This happened almost 20 years ago now. I have ongoing chronic pain which I have learned to manage as best I can. But like I said in the intro thread earlier, we have a lot in common. Now, even more than I realised.

Hang in there.

Sherry

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