Hot Chocolate Anyone ?

It's always been like that for me, with my Mum too.

I've always been expected by my relatives to care for my Mum emotionally (since very young).

Everyone treads carefully around her (in conversation) - like trying very hard not to step on eggshells...

I'm still in touch via phone, & see them every few years - but I could never live with them, especially Mum.

That's a part of why I've been on the other side of the country, for the past 23 years.

Adge

Thank you @Smc I'm so glad that someone else gets it. It's hard, not easy at all.

Yesterday was better than expected. I did have a good time at the party because I felt that there were enough people aroun for me to have a break. And she actually had a really good time. But she is intense in the car on the way there and back. She finds it very hard to just sit with herself in silence and has to constantly fill the gaps with chatter and tends to say the same thing over and over again and it gets incredibly frustrating and if i say anything like i just want some quiet or i've heard that before she gets upset. i feel as though i have to fully engage all the time and answer in a happy tone. Argh!! But overall it was a good day.

Movinng forward how do people continue to do this. I'm exhausted and I feel like it is never going to end and how do I just be ok with that? I think that I need to start finding a sense of myself and what I want to do with my life with all this other stuff in the background. What kind of things do people fin that do work n managing a parent with MI. It's also relational so I struggle at the moment with friendships/extended family - connecting and trusting.

Totally get it @Adge I am the same

@Sonny1, sorry, I don't think there's any easy answers there. I've been in the same spot for some time.

Being confident of your own value as a person is a big thing. It's probably the main "protective factor" for me (to use a psych term). Even then, it is still a battle to keep that "sense of self". I try to set boundaries, but sometimes that means being deliberately unavailable. Of couse, that only works for times when availability isn't critical to the other person.

Would your mother accept it if you told her politely that you needed quiet to concentrate on driving? Our MI daughter is also very much a constant talker. I think she feels insecure with silence. If your mother feels the same, then asking her to stop may feel threatening.

And now wondering if playing music in the car to fill in the silence might help?

Helloooo, anyone wanting a mocha frapuccino?

Yes please @Former-Member .... ❣️