Dearest @Faith-and-Hope
I've been trying to find this post, glad I've found it !! the reason why I havent been on so much is because of my husband's messiness, he is always my prority...... and I read your message with a lot of compassion and also..oh, yes, Im exactly there.
Or not.
When I re....met my husband, his relaionship with his Mother was oh, so dysfunctional. EVery Sunday, he would have to catch a train/bus to his Mums for lunch where he would scream and yell at her so he would be kicked out while she told him to leave. Sometimes the luch went well and she would offer to drive him whereever he was living.
Saw the same Gp
She would and does financially help her daughter, would refuse to give him any money for a bit of help
When I re.....met him, he was living this lonely, feral, poor life in his little studio unit. And then I took him to see my Psychotherapist.
For 2 years, began my nightmare with her. He ended up in jail because he was trying to quit drinking and drugs but he was falling into Psychosis, I would be on the phone demanding him to get to hospital, he needed a very strong detox centre to take him in (nothing happened) and my MIL....just awful. She was blaming ME for him going to jail,,,,,,,,
So he gets out and after 3 months, I get a restraining order on him, My MIL sees lawyers to see if she could get my car off me because it was a wedding present, I sent her the settlement...thinking it was over. And he writes me a letter two years later saying he quit the lot. Could we be friends??
A year later and we are back together. He's seeing a different Doctor too !! WE meet for coffee with his Mum once per month, one month where we live and one month near where she lives.
I get very scared easily with her. But she tells me that she loves me. She listens to me. I'm still scared of her but much of that is my mental daily wellbeing. and having a mother who is a Psychopath and narcissist.
On your husband/partner, it feels that you are doing what I did: being aware of the daily goings on
But you need to take care for yourself first. And it's what you do, like me and so many others here....
In that I mean; focusing and writing down your short term
Medium term
Long term goals
Sorry im getting really tired and Im just happy we reconnected, please always say hi, You are a very cleaver lady, I've been reading your posts..........
Anne x
