Hot Chocolate Anyone ?

Living the one day at a time philosophy @Anony18. My ex got back in touch. He's okay; thought he was dead or in big trouble when I hadn't heard from him for a while. Contact wasn't a good thing after all because he is being immensely frustrating by making promises he doesn't keep.

I figured that no contact was better than repeatedly being disappointed by this behaviour so I refused to engage. The past few days have been somewhat calmer. He has left dozens of messages via Whatsapp that I haven't opened. Don't know if I should just drop all expectations and just allow us to be casual friends. Perhaps if he says he will do something, I should just respond positively but don't ask him later whether he actually did it.

Can you ever really just be friends with an ex especially if he wants more?

I think that is all you can do @soul. Just take one day at a time. I completely understand how worried you must have been. I was like that with my ex. I still worry for him but with the chat it helped to understand he doesn't look at his phone always cause the phone is a trigger for him so I will continue to check up from him from time to time as a friend but with minimal expectation of a response. My ex made alot of promises not only to me but his mate, particularly about catching up but then pulls out last minute without a word because of the social anxiety. It is frustrating alright but unfortunately all you can do is let them know the impact of their actions. To be honest not sure his mates knows what is going on with him which makes it tougher for them.

With the contact you will need determine what you can live with and accept. If no contact is what you believe is best, that is what is right for you. For me and my ex (my Now Friend) I will remain contact as a check up but as I said have that minimal expectation based on what he has explained to me when I had to make the tough call.

If your ex wants more I think it will be hard to be just friends. End of day it is your call what you believe is right for you both. If he is able respect that you just want be friends and accept that then by all means. But boundaries need to be established....hope that makes sense.

hope you feel better soon @Anony18 my friend

Thanks @Shaz51 - have been drinking bulk warm water, having my red date longan tea, essence of chicken (YUCK!). Pretty sure am going overboard with this!

@Anony18, I HAVE AN ANNOYING cough

Hello @Faith-and-Hope, @soul, @Determined, @outlander, @Former-Member, @Former-Member and everyone

Hope everyone`s day has been ok xx

we are going out for a family dinner -- and yes Hubby does NOT wants to go !!!!!

Hi Everyone 🙂

I've been on leave so it is lovely to be back and catching up in forum life again

What cuisine are you taking to tonight @Shaz51 pub grub, Chinese, Italian???

I hope you and hubby both have a lovely time 🙂

Chinese, @Former-Member xx

I hope you and hubby both have a lovely time, thank you @Former-Member, meeting some extended family of the family , should be 16 of us for dinner

Good evening all - I need to remain calm tonight - don't think I will be about - so heres a message for you - sorry @Anony18 and @JoJo99 your pics would not load ...

@Shaz51

@Faith-and-Hope

@soul

@Determined

@Former-Member

@outlander

@Former-Member

Very creative @Former-Member - it is ok! I will just imagine it in my head