Hot Chocolate Anyone ?

Thanks for the article for Carers about grief @Former-Member. I could relate to it reflecting on the times I spent looking after my father and mother as they grew old and battled deterioration of their body and mind.

@soul Regarding people saying you didnt try hard emough. I walk away from people like rhat. Because I know what I went through. I know I tried harder than 99.9% of people could, or would. I wouldn't have ended up where I did had I not tried. In factbeing as stubborn as I am, I tried too hard.

I wasn't dealing with the normal show compassion and understanding and it'll all be ok thing. I tried that, that's where it got me. That's why it took me years to work through and get out of. Thatt thinking is what keeps women in an abusive sitation. Yet it's foisted on us once we get out.

To people who think that, I wish I could just hand them my shoes. So they could walk in them for just a bit, to wake them up to the reality of what I was faced with. Then I bet they'd never say that again. They'd hand them back, gulp, look at me through new eyes, look down with embarrasment, and slowly walk away in disbelief. Realising just how myopic they had been. How do I say this with certainty? Because I was one of them once, but in a slightly different way. I was the "whay don't you just walk away" type.

well I have my answer now. Because you want to keep on trying, because you keep thinking there is something you can do to fix, it.

which is the opposite of not trying hard enough. What it is, is trying too hard.

I know exactly where you've come from @Spookytookims. It was actually my mother who mentioned that maybe I should have persevered but then she had no idea that I was in an abusive situation and never will. The rest of my family even if they did know, probably would have said I should have known better. In times of past need, they have turned their backs on me.

I've always been a bit of a black sheep and have never been acknowledged for sacrifices I made. These I did gladly at the time but they are now being manipultaed and denigrated. I can do without that rubbish in my life.

You're 100% right about not truly knowing what someone is going through unless you yourself have had that same experience.

My little guy. @Darcy

Saw some items at a shop today, couldn't help myself and bought some of you presents ..

@Spookytookims

@soul

@Determined

@Former-Member

@Faith-and-Hope

@Shaz51 got you two as I couldn't pick

awwww super gorgeous of you @Former-Member 🙂

thank you 🙂

Thanks @Former-Member - that brought a smile to my face.