Hi All
Just realised ain't doing too well right now. Got a real anxious feeling in my chest that it hurts. It been there since last night. I do know the cause or shall I say - potential causes of it and it is something that will hopefully go away...sooner rather than later. My headspace isn't right now. Trying to work but of course it is a struggle.
My aunt in Singapore had to be pulled off life support. Not sure if I told you but she collapsed 2 weeks ago from brain disease (unknown she had it!). I was half and half on going over to Singapore and last night had a push factor by my partner to say maybe he could meet me in Singapore for a few days....he is currently away so am obviously missing him. I asked Mum if she thought it be a good idea and she said no need to come. I was upset & anxious at thought that my aunt is gone but I admit I got a bit more upset given that it means I won't see my partner til my work ball (which is only a few weeks away). It is making me really guilty, & therefore more anxious, that I am getting upset by not being able to head over and see him as it is really making me feel like a horrid and selfish person.....I don't blame you all if you think that of me.
I know a few weeks isn't far away but this whole situation and the situation with my colleague a month ago makes that seem so far. For some reason I hoped he could read my mind and read in between my text this morning to return but I don't want to be selfish by asking him to cut his trip short. Did ask maybe he could skype, facetime or even just call so will see.
Right now I feel like escaping away from the city.
Am truly sorry if I am sounding so self-centred and selfish and uncaring right now. And if none of you wants to talk to me after this, I understand.
