Hopefulhusband1Contributor
Supporting wife with BPD
Hi Everyone
After 11 years of doing it alone its comforting to know that I’m not alone in caring for someone with BPD.
Recently my wife sought out psychological help for herself. It was a proud moment as the 6 she’d been to before had never really helped, as she’d never stuck with them and didn’t tell them everything. As with all carers of a loved one with BPD I’d been the brunt of all blame of her feelings especially when triggered. Before we had our two beautiful children (2 and 4) I had always put it down to persistent depression as she’d been diagnosed and medicated for it 8 years ago. Refused to take medication again as she had side effects. So I’d been trying to manage the environment to keep calm and stable. When our kids came along, I couldn’t do this as well - kids. I then put it down to post natal depression (twice). Bloody tough as a partner. Also I’m not perfect and by god they have a good memory for every little thing you’ve ever done 😄 but can never remember the 99.99% of awesome stuff you do for them everyday.
I took a look at the results from the psychometric evaluation and even though the psychologist didnt tell her it was bpd she did give the schemas. Looked them up in the DSM 5 and yep BPD. I’ve done a lot of reading into it and 100% accurate especially the fear of abandonment. So....... She has left me for the second time now and taken the kids quoting that it’s our relationship that causing her pain. I can now see the triggers and understand the actions taken by the psychologist to gain her trust instead of giving the diagnosis. It’s will be another long journey I expect, but this time I have hope as she’s set up regular sessions with the psychologist. I suppose I was hoping to get some advice from the forum on what I should do now, except wait and see? Thanks everyone really appreciate the support
