Hi Nik Nik,
it is not easy to answer your question. I suppose that I have been able to really look at myself and ask myself the more difficult questions. I feel that I have gone through a long process of metamorphosis.
Perhaps it is because of my intense studies in psychology, sociology and anthropoloogy. You see, when I went to University, in the 1990, humanitarian subjects were still very much valued. It is these subjects that have helped me to take a look at myself. First I became critical of my society, and then I shifted the focus on myself. What I saw was not good.
Also, the fact that I help many people with mental disorders and other disabilities , as a volunteer, helped me tremendously to see myself in the process of helping people. I had to become responsible and change myself if I was to really help. That is why it would be crucial, in AUstralia, to have helpers for people with mental disorders, even on these sites. For example Silenus is a great help and so are other people. These people should be given some sort of position by the government and perhspa some small amount of money to help from home. Why not?
I also raise funds for mental health in my own special way, and all of these things I do helpe me to grow.
Today, my perception is that many people with mental disorders get upset with me for what I write. They are not really getting upset, I perceive: there is a struggle. All my work is based on spreading the word that no matter what is wrong with us we can help ourselves to various degrees: some more, some less; but we all have the power to help ourselves, and that is the power of ONE. No one can take this away from us.
This knowledge I I try to spread can irritate people: for example some may want to blame their entire mental disorder on a bilogical dysfunction. But it is never just biological, there is also our perception of the problems, our understanings, and our environment.
There are many perfectly normal people that develop a mental disorder later in life, triggered by trauma. Sexual assault, witnessing a car accident; seeing a friend die; all of these events can trigger the most severe mental disorder. Trauma happens and it can happen to anyone, anyone at all.
But, I feel that many of us, including me in the past, did not want to know about these things. It was easy for me, for example, to blame my condition on biology which meant that I kept on being an A****** if you know what I mean. But, when I decided to become responsible things started to change. I did not like living with myself in that sitation so I begun to change.
Today I realise that I may be very far ahead on the road to recovery and this can upset those who are not quite where I am. Although some are further ahead than me. I don't resent them I will get there soon.
But I also realize that only by stimulating change, and even partly irritating some people, can I help them, within reasons of course. THis is what many mental health professional do not understand. We need to upset people to help them, in a very nice and controlled manner. And it is also hard to know when too much is too much. We cannot help people without letting the poison out. And when the poison comes out it is not going to be a pleasant event. THe poison here is all of the trauma that is bottle up. The scream comes to mind, the famous painting where the person screams her lungs out and all of the horror. tension, and emotions come out with the scream.
Change does not happen in peace, change happens in struggle, confrontation, inner turmoil and so on. Change is painful. It is not easy to change.
I have been able to change because other people have shown me the way and while I did get upset with them for doing so, I later came to understand that they were trying to help me in a real way, to show me the Light. I took the opportunity and here I am. I saw my poison come out, like a green lava , coming out of my body, I really envisaged this, and that was not a pleasant event, it was terrible for me.
In this sense, I may be an odd ball in many places, perhaps even on this website. No doubt that many would be irritated with me for what I say, they would want me gone. And sometime the time to leave does come. When someone tells me how they wish I would go away and refrain from commenting on sites like this one I know that they are really asking for help, subconsciously. Of course I am not an expert, but I can help in my own subtle ways. I have personal and lived experience of mental disorders.
If I was to blame my Bipolar on a biological malfunction, and speak of medication alone, I would probably be much loved in many places. Such is life. I would also have to work a lot less and blame everything and everyone. I have been there and I did not like it.
All of this that I have said, though seemingly unrelated to your question, has a lot to do with your question, only presented from a Bipolar perspective. People with Bipolar can join the dots where many other people cannot join the dots of knowledge. We see things holistically.
Don't know if this is an answer that is satisfactory to you, Nik Nik, but thank you for asking and for being such a kind person.
