Freaking out

@CheerBear Thank you for your response. My friends are supportive but it also scares me. When we were at the hospital the friend I thought I had with me told the Dr stuff about me that no one knew but was also not part of the reason I was there before telling the Dr who knows what as she spoke to them away from me.

When I went back the next day the person I spoke to was the same one who turned me away the day before and apologised before telling me that I didn't have the strength to tell her I couldn't do the plan she said.

The session then felt like I wasn't there as the person with me kept talking and when I did speak it was as tho I was being judged. The lady kept mentioning I don't maintain eye contact and I looked like I had no emotion. She kept saying that I was quiet because of the medication but I hadn't taken anything it's just who I am.

She then told me that I'm not willing to help myself because if I've Been seeing a psychologist for 6 months then I should b better and to spend the weekend with a friend

I'm doing ok today but I'm now trying to determine if I have anxiety or stress as it doesn't feel as tho I'm getting the help I need

Don't worry, this sounds like typical hospital behaviour. I have been charged with everything in that environment and even been told I display autistic behaviour. In actuality, it has nothing to do with that. Perhaps this article will calm your thoughts and make you realise it is a failing in the system that has nothing to do with you.

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/about-us/about-our-work/suicide-prevention/beyond-the-emergency

You're not alone, I have been placed in hospital corridors for hours on end and then they wonder why I have anxiety. The doctor then charges you with non-compliant behaviour and if you're unlucky they will get the police and security involved due to you having a bad time.

It is an overburdened system and the vast majority of staff in emergency reach a point of burnout at some point. From what I can tell you have done nothing wrong, it is just the sign of an entirely broken system.

@Hoefwew When I went to the er the nurses were awesome and had a laugh with me which made me more comfortable. I'm lucky in the sense that I live in a relatively small town so don't get put in corridors or anything here.

What upset me was the fact that the mental health team which where I live is a separate building next to the hospital first turned me away then when I was referred back there blamed me for feeling the way I did and didn't listen to me as they had already made their mind up before I got there.

I won't ever go back there as if they won't listen when your asking for help then it's not likely u will return at a later date.

I mean, acute care and the emergency department are both connected. I just happen to live in an area where public mental health is particularly bad. With regard to you, you are right, the adult mental health system is not the best. Unfortunately by now, as you have found out they tend to use it as a sort of containment zone, particularly for regional areas where they lack sufficient beds, and where those beds end up being occupied by prisoners, people with addiction issues, extreme cases of psychosis, and anti-social personality disorders.

You're probably going to both like and dislike what I have to say but unless your behavior is so severe it endangers your life they're probably not going to admit you. You seem like a person who is suffering from anxiety which also leads to self-harming behavior. They have to weigh up the pros and cons of it and work out on the basis of all of the things I've told you and your condition whether an admission is actually worth it for you, what problems it would cause, and whether it would resolve anything...

Being admitted to a psych ward is a bit like swimming around in a fish bowl, you don't know any of these other fish, and the environment is completely foreign to you. It can also be quite traumatic particularly with anxiety seeing some of the things that you may be confronted by which can lead to other things such as PTSD as a result of an admission.

So you have to weigh up the pros and cons. Can you manage in the community? If not go to your nearest hospital or call an ambulance on 000 straight away. But you may find its actually more beneficial to you in the long run if you can find someone who cares in the community to look after you for a while.

I know how difficult it is. You're more than welcome to call SANE during business hours or LifeLine/Beyond Blue/Suicide Callback Service if you need extra support.