Career Chat // Benefits and challenges of work // CLOSED

Hi @Former-Member ... love to try to look as some of your concerns

How do you create the working day that benefits your health - I have Flexi hours, which is awesome, but also means I can potentially work around the clock?

A yes the magic 'flexi-hours' promise ... I'm a victim too ... flexi turns out to mean 'all' as in I work 'all-hours'. Sound familiar? Thought so.

Well, @Former-Member you need to make a decision here and now (dramatic pause) - you need to begin to prioritise your mental health. By that I mean you MUST take days/hours off when your (wonderful) Flexi hours works permits you.

Then, you must find alternative ways to spend that time which ensure you don't answer emails/phone calls/texts etc etc. The problem is often we don't prioritise our time when we're out of the office because we just wanna relaaaaxxxx ... however as every coach will tell you, you have to schedule in time with yourself if you do indeed want to relaaaxx.

Block out your time, post a post-it-note or do whatever it takes to block that time out just for YOU. Then go and do something or nothing but don't stop doing it for anyone or anything!

Would you answer the phone/text/email during a dentist appointment? No because you're too busy prioritising your dental health. Same for mental health ... make an appointment to do what you need to do to ensure you're feeling good for work (dog walk, catch up with mates, art gallery, read ... etc etc) and then make that activity your priority.

It will take practice but you can do it!

How do you negotiate healthy travelling routines? Both national and international travel?

Health in terms of mental health?

• I believe in mood-food so make yours veggie smoothies if you can ...
  
  
• Stick some meditation/relaxation/favourite inspirational speaker/whale music in your earbuds
  
  
• Discover a counsellor who does phone sessions and book a couple in whilst you're away
  
  
• If your company has an EAP service use it whilst you're away (this is totally anonymous)
  
  
• Maintain contact with a mentor whilst you're away or coach or anyone who is part of your network who understands your mental health needs (I steer away from friends here ... )

How do you cope with the influence of media - emails, conference calls, constantly being available, social / professional media networks?

Become the scheduling queen or king - I often advise my clients who are the types to ruminate a lot to shedule in time for rumination/worry. If they know they can't stop due to the incident they're worried about being current and they just have to worry then I tell them to schedule it in.

From 4pm - 5pm I will worry about this problem, not a moment longer. Then I pack it up (mentally) and put it away until the next scheduled time for worry. If they find themselves wanting to worry at another time, then they write the concern down and revisit it at their prescheduled worry time.

This seems contrived but it works - schedule in time for communicating with the outside world. Then when that time is done, shut off.

When you train yourself and others to only contact you between certain times, they get used to it.

Your instant reply message could say ... I can't answer ÿour email at the moment as I'm either in a meeting or you have emailed me outside contact hours ...

Also ... see above ... prioritise your mental health.

How do you create the "cut" between work and life?

Again it's about your attitude towards what constitutes what is important in your life. If your mental health is a priority you must and will cut off. It's about you making the decision that YOUR MENTAL HEALTH MATTERS MORE.

What are good routines to try and implement? I sit down for lunch, but that's the only one I keep. I sometimes think of taking up smoking again (no I won't) as it made me that 5min away from the desk in the "fresh" air.

I'm going to sound like a broken record but if you prioritise your mental health you'll put things in place like .... 10 minute walks listening to beautiful relaxing music/inspiring messages

You will take time out for you. It's not simple because you'll have to really remember that your mental health matters more ... but once you get used to it, it will become easier.

Please don't smoke take long deep breaths, hold for 2 then breath out for 4 and repeat until you feel more relaxed. Do that instead!

How do you cope with never ending and boring meetings without making a fool of yourself?

HAHA I don't know. Go to a happy place mentally? List 3 - 10 things you are greatful for on a piece of paper (so you look like you're taking notes) during the meeting ... this should inspire you to actually engage and maybe contribute?

What do you do when you all of the sudden start crying about something that happened 20 years ago and cannot explain what's going on?

Toolboxes people!! From a previous post, having a mental health toolbox and prioritising your mental health you will always have a way of coping when pesky stuff from the past (or present) rears it's sad little head at the most unfortunate moments ...

Suggestions ... go to the ladie's and deep breath, locate the place in your body where the sadness is sitting (chest? shoulders? throat?) and focus on it, try to get it to shift and move around (that's MBCBT if you're interested) and let the crying come out. Thank yourself for being great at letting things pass though you, take more deep breaths and come out of the ladies!.

Then after work, make sure you deal with it'; contact your counsellor and debrief.

How do you deal with loud or aggressive clients when you're having a bad day yourself?

How do you cope with the never ending to do lists, the full email accounts, the little favours everyone asks, the priority your boss all of the sudden makes, to ruin your plan and the "little emergencies" that can ruin the whole day or week?

For both of the above I advocate stepping away from the situation taking a few deep breaths, prioritising your mental health and going for a walk or (love this) having a big huge laugh to get my endorphins flowing to combat the cortisol slowly building in your body as a result of the pressure you're unders.

Laugh, cry, breath, move. They all clear corisol. You'll do this when you make your mental health more important than work ... just sayin'

And for me probably the biggest challenge: how do you implement new ways to cope with your mental illness if you maintained your job throughout the treatment and all of the sudden realise - you will never be the same again - and that is probably what everybody is expecting once I "recover"?

Yes. That's tough. Be gentle @Former-Member with yourself. Make your mental health more important than anything else you have going in your life. If we were talking about a deep cut in your arm or a burn to your face ... you would be very gentle with yourself. Please treat your mental health in the same way, nice and easy ... gently does it. Compassionate statements to yourself, positive thinking, blocking and stopping negative thinking with mentally healthy activities (see above) ...

Watch Guy Winch online, he has a great TED Ex about prioritising mental health.

I am coping ok at the moment with fixed routines and medication and my regular professional support. But I do hope that one day I will be able to be more flexible again in my life.

Aha! That's the big trick! My clients tell me this - i thought that when I was better I wouldn't need so much support, but I find that support is actually what makes me feel better!

Mentally healthy people have support all the time .. they don't tell you or show you but they do. They use tools, see mentors, counsellors, listen to meditation, do yoga, have spiritual retreats, spas, meditation camps, pray, read self help books, join wellness groups, eat healthily and generally engage in wellness all the time!

The myth is that you only need support when you're down. Nope. Wrong. You need it always.

All the best @Former-MemberHope something in here has helped!

@Former-Member absolute pleasure

Thank you so much @Renstar!!!

A lot of valuable information!!

You mentioned:

"My advice is to ensure you have outside supports and networks; a friendly counsellor you can chat to anytime, a psychologist with regular appointments, a mentor who has been there and done that (SANE provides these as peer supports)."

How do you find a friendly counsellor you can chat to anytime?

How can you find a mentor who has been there and done that? I was actually thinking about ways of finding a professional in my field who has been able to navigate with their mental illness on board a successful career - but it is a difficult task.

I am very scared to lose my job while going through treatment - I am making time for my mental heath, I just hope it will not cost me my job.

Thanks again x

Glad to hear from you @Former-Member

Friendly counsellor you can talk to any time? This takes some doing as with all relationships, you need to look for and thus find a counsellor you feel simpatico with. At that point obviously you can't call anytime but certainly you do have the option to do online or phone sessions at times that you need (big pressure times etc).

Counsellors out there who are coaches as well provide excellent resources, they're available in different forms - either for mental health or for staying personally on track. These are also options, again you need to research.

In terms of a mentor who has been there and done that, Peer support is your best best. And you're at the right place (SANE forum), you could also try MIND who have peer supports.

I don't know whether you will find someone in your field, but the chances that a standard Peer Support worker will empathise based on relatable experience are high and their general support should be of value also.

If you are discriminated against due to your mental health challenges, there are avenues you can take in terms of anti-discrimination law and employee rights etc. Worth looking at just incase, I posted something about that earlier today.

Happy to hear you are prioritising your mental health ... this isn't an easy time but it will get better. Our brains take time to re-wire but they do with practice. You will recover maybe not exactly like before but maybe exactly like before is not what you want anyway .... mental illness gives us fresh perspectives on life and may force you to re-focus your energies in ways that you should have been doing before.

Trying alternative therapies such as EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) and REM (Rapid Eye Movement Technique) or modalities such as MBCBT (Mindfulness Based CBT) are also options for helping with what's going on (if they're relevant to your condition).

Also, @Former-Member, ask me more! I'm here til 3

@Renstar

One more regarding work travel. Travel time often seems to be seen as "leisure time" so for national travel I take the early morning flight, rush off to meetings etc. and take a late flight home. Add on living a couple of hours away from the airport, increases the pressure.

Scenario number 2 is the overnight flight overseas / or late arrival after a long flight (in cattle class) - with meetings all day after, then evening engagements, more meetings the next day, more socialising.... and then another overnight flight home... (Asia, America, Europe)

This is for me for a mentally fit person, unhealthy. How can you work against this if it is the work culture from top to bottom (apart from that the very top travels business class) is like that. Nobody seems to see anything wrong with that.

Thanks!

@Renstar

How do you find a counsellor or coach please?

I love the forums here, they are really helpful and I have also chatted the helpline a couple of times, which was good!

Just trying to get my life back in order 🙂

@Former-Member both scenarios are difficult I do number 1 myself and it's not easy ... very taxing.

As with everything, the more you prepare the better results you get. The times that you travel overseas are you able to take time off before hand to rest and relax in preparation for these extended periods of hectic time? Can you ask your management to include relaxation options in your travel itinerary (massage, spa??) (no laughing!)

One of the biggest decisions you have to make is to decide whether this work is still an option for you? Given it has such high demands of anyone. If you decide no, then you have options as it sounds like you would flow into another role fairly easily, possibly into a role without as many demands (without specifics it's so hard to say). Here you need to begin to accept the new situation you're in ... not easy I understand.

If you decide you're staying, then honestly the only thing that helps with very high power roles and mental health is meditation.Research consistently supports that meditation actually changes your brain chemistry to the point where you actually don't react to situations as stressfully or feel pressure in the same way.

Seinfeld claims that's the only way he knows how to live in 'his' world - Transcendental Meditation.

Another technique to relieve stress when you're on the road is EFT, which I mentioned before, proponents claim it works wonders as it's a self-activated stress relief technique.

My point is, get creative - if talk therapy at nearly midnight when you're getting back from some social engagement before leaving to head home to Australia the next day is not avaialble - then look for other options which put YOU in charge of the situation.

It's not an easy road the one you're on ... keep asking questions, something will resonate, something will help. Thanks so much for sharing today btw

Hi @Renstar 🙂

You wrote:

"Some maybe obvious stuff @Silenus , have a professional write your resume, contact the companies who rejected you, instead of waiting for jobs seek them out at places where you would love to work, refocus your career to use your 'lived experience' organisations such as SANE and MIND and others value this and reward you with great jobs (not engineering ones though I suspect)."

Thank you for this. I'm not shooting it down, but...

I have tried contacting companies where my application was rejected. Without fail, their response is "We've got your info on file should a suitable position become available blah blah blah.", or words to that effect.

That's the nice ones that aren't hiding behind a recruitment agency. The others - no response...

You suggest I get a professional to write my resume. This would be great, because I would be providing a job for someone else (and paying money for the privilege)... but... still I myself would have no job...

I'm a technical writer and creative writer. I write for a living. It's my profession, so when I write my own resume and cover letters, it has been written by a professional... hahaha...

Still we have the problem though...

I've tried cold and warm calling, looking for work. So far, no luck...

As the owner of a consulting company, I sell my own services to other businesses (and private individuals). There is no discrimination protection for me, because a company chooses to use another contractor... this is another problem...

Okay, to find a counsellor who is also a coach you will either contact ACA (Australian Counselling Association) or the peak body for Coaches, you want professional, ICF (International Coaching Federation) approved coaches only.

Excellent professonals are out there but as with all professions there are people who are .... err not so professional, so caveat emptor and make sure they're accredited and you feel comfortable with them.

Like all relationships, you may have to go through a few duds to find the right one.

Please keep reaching out @Former-Member and you can chat to me anytime too, just leave a message with my @. name.

You're on a journey and you want to take your mental health seriously, I am so impressed! You would be a great peer support person actually!! Maybe later

Woah, the BIG question!

I have played that through in my head so many times. That's where a mentor would be really helpful.

My conclusion so far is that I actually have quite a bit of freedom in my role to adjust and handing over some of the tasks - whether I will eventually manage myself out of the company then becomes another question.

The change I would have to do would also mean leaving my passion behind. When I doubt work I remember what a difference I can make and how much I love what I am doing. I would prefer to find balance, stick to my job and find ways to accommodate my new energy levels.