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Feeling guilty

Macca00Contributor31 July 2019, 12:06 pm AEST

Feeling guilty

I have no idea if anyone will read this but right now I’m at a point where I feel I’m trying to get help but no one is giving me any.

One of my close friends went through a long battle with his own mental health, he was a good man, he made some just made a few bad decisions.

I met him through my partner and we made a close bond. I’m not the best at talking about feelings and I’m more of a logical person then a feel person but I would always try found out how he was going.

Sometimes he would share alarming thoughts and this even once lead me to inform his partner so we could get him to a mental health unit.

After he received ECT therapy I would make him promise to surf with me, it was a good way to keep him active, have a chat and give him something to stick around for.

He had a beautiful child which is now my god daughter. We thought the child would help his mental state and give him something to work for, this wasn’t the case.

A weeeknd in May this year I cancelled on our surf to work on my motorcycle, I just told him I couldn’t make it.

A few days after he took his life.

The guilt is consuming and relentless. I’ve made some bad decisions myself and now my employment is soon to be terminated. Life seems to be spiraling and I can’t stop it.

33 replies

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In response to: Feeling guilty

ethSenior Contributor09 Aug 2019, 6:50 am AEST

Re: Feeling guilty

Hi @Macca00 @Gazza75 and good morning.

@Macca00 writing a letter sounds a good idea. I tend to use a journal and just pick up the pen and start writing without trying to plan it or rethink the words on the first go - I call it 'splurge' writing and find it really helps. Then I walk away from it for at least a few hours and come back and re-read it, possibly editing or adding more to it. Having it in a journal means I can go back to it after some time has passed and see where I was at, work out what progress has been made (or not!).

Yes a bit of exercise really helps with MH management. Hope you do get to have some and that your week has been a bit better. Keep sharing here - it does help knowing you're not alone.

Hoping your second session goes well for you.

Take care.

In response to: Re: Feeling guilty

Macca00Contributor13 Aug 2019, 3:17 pm AEST

Re: Feeling guilty

Hi @eth

I gave the letter a go, I really made me think about what had happened and while it upset me I’m somewhat glad I did it.

I think I might do another letter soon, while the other was quite long I now feel as though I have a lot more I want to say.

Thanks for the message though and ill keep at it. 🙂

In response to: Re: Feeling guilty

ethSenior Contributor14 Aug 2019, 9:07 am AEST

Re: Feeling guilty

Hi @Macca00 glad to hear the letter writing is working for you. One thing you can do is write as if you were supporting a good friend going through the same experience. Just a suggestion.

Hang in there and take care. Be gentle with yourself.

At some stage you might want to look at "the 7 stages of grief" - you can google it. It has really helped me at times over the years.

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