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Something’s not right

Dark place

Dark place

I feel dead inside and I don’t know how much strength I have left. It’s a constant battle 😕

234 replies

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In response to: Dark place

Re: Dark place

read this lyrics today.

The image in your eyes

Reflecting the pain that has taken you
I hear it in your voice, so ridden with shame
From what's hailing you
I won't give up so don't give in
You've fallen down but you can rise again
So don't give up
When the demon that's inside you is ready to begin
And it feels like it's a battle that you will never win
When you're aching for the fire and begging for your sin
When there's nothing left inside, there's still a reason to fight
Lost in your world of lies
I find it so hard to believe in you
Can it be real this time?
Or just a part of this game that we're playing through
I won't give up so don't give in
You've fallen down but you will rise again
I won't give up
When the demon that's inside you is ready to begin
And it feels like it's a battle that you will never win
When you're aching for the fire and begging for your sin
When there's nothing left inside, there's still a reason to fight
Don't let it take your soul
Look at me take control
When knowing to fight this war
This is nothing worth dying for
Are you ready to begin?
This is a battle that we are gonna win
When you're aching for the fire and begging for your sin
When there's nothing left inside, there's still a reason
When the demon that's inside you is ready to begin
And it feels like it's a battle that you will never win
When you're aching for the fire and begging for your sin
When there's nothing left inside, there's still a reason to fight
I'll be your reason to fight
Give you a reason to fight

In response to: Dark place

Re: Dark place

Morning @Former-Member ,

I am glad you like the sunflower 🙂

I didn't get to experiment with the polymer clay. I forgot to pack some skewers that I need to use. I want to try and cover some pens with it and need the skewers to hold them while they bake.

I think the fires/smoke is pretty tough on everyone. I woke up from the smoke this morning which is the first time that has happened, it smelt so strong.
Not sure why the smoke alarms weren't going off. I'll have to check the batteries in them as I thought they should of been triggered.

We are all in different situations with the fires, but, I think it just wears away at you. Not being able to see the sky / sun for weeks on end at this time of the year isn't exactly normal. It's upsetting what people have lost, what we as a country have lost, so much destruction is hard to fathom. Hearing about it day after day it kind of numbs you.

I went over to my brothers house last week for a few hours. It's the most time I've spent with him in a long time. He's doing pretty well, but, he's still so weak and fragile. He doesn't have much balance and a strong wind can blow him over, he can't even get back up himself. It seems so unreal that something like that can happen.

Anyway, I hope you are safe and have a good day today. It's always nice to hear from you Aeiou 🙂

In response to: Dark place

Re: Dark place

@Former-Member

In response to: Re: Dark place

Re: Dark place

Good morning @Gazza75

that is so beautiful, thank you 🙂 I saw pictures like that the other day in the shops and thought whether I should get one, but I'd probably lose interest and not be patient enough. I will try to do some painting in the next few days.

Have a great Christmas xoxo

In response to: Re: Dark place

Re: Dark place

Happy New Year @Former-Member 🙂

I managed to get through Xmas better than I expected. I hope it wasn't to diffucult for you and that you have had a good start to the year.

Fires have been terrible near me since last weekend. Pretty heartbreaking to see the devastation on the south coast as its so close to my heart. Quite hard to get a grip on the scale of it all.

Have you managed to do some paintings? I haven't been very motivated the last few weeks.

In response to: Re: Dark place

Re: Dark place

Hi @Gazza75

I hope you will be ok. The bushfires are so devastating, I am sorry they're close to you too now. It is so scary and I feel so sad for everyone who is going through this and I can't even express how bad I feel for the lives, homes, bushland and animals I am and how difficult it must be and will be for everyone in those areas.

ive been struggling a lot dealing with what's happening here and in the world. I can't explain it.

In response to: Re: Dark place

Re: Dark place

Hey @Former-Member ,

Thanks for your message. 🙂

I've been finding it challenging few months with everything going on. Since I was younger and travelling a bit, I have always appreciated just how lucky we are to live in such a wonderful place. I really miss the blue sky and the sun, the fresh air.

I don't think anyone can explain what's going on here and in the world. So much loss in a short time period. It has been good to hear the stories of people banding together to do what they can for each other. I feel under more pressure now to help and be there for my parents now that my brother is basically out of action. He can literally get blown over in a wind. That's something I've never really thought about.

I am hoping to find the time today or soon to make some small donations of money. I haven't been to Kangaroo Island, but, I would like to help them out a little if I can. It's hard to know what else to do. Kind of glad I am back at work to distract myself.

Stay safe 🙂

In response to: Re: Dark place

Re: Dark place

Hey @Former-Member ,

Hope you are doing okay. We've had some nice rain around NSW and the country which is hopefully helping the fire situation. I've been chipping away at some paintings. Trying to stay busy and active, but, truthfully It feels like an uphill battle on many fronts at the moment. I think in part it might be some meds I have been on and off for the last few weeks.

In response to: Re: Dark place

Re: Dark place

Hi @Gazza75

sorry I've been offline for a while.

I hope you're doing ok x

In response to: Re: Dark place

Re: Dark place

HI @Gazza75

How are you doing? I hope you're coping ok and maybe enjoy yourself a little too.

I'm doing ok, dealing with the triggers and flashbacks as they come and making the most out of hours or sometimes a day of relief. I haven't been on the forum much, as I've joined to other forums that are closed and more specific to my trauma and gender identity questioning. It is helpful for me to be in forums where everyone is basically in the same boat.

But I miss chatting to you here 🙂 Take care x

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