Struggling

I have grown up with all forms of abuse. Knowing no different. And it’s like if all you’ve ever known is abuse. You will accept the abuse. Some how from being nice what ever is like I’m saying abuse me. I don’t get what I’m doing wrong for that to happen or they think they can. I’ve not long put a dvo on my children’s father. That was one of the hardest things I’ve had to do. He got a 5 year dvo. The entire experience of going through with it was a nightmare. I understand now why women or man doesn’t always follow through. I ended up back in hospital due to this. As of last night my daughters don’t want to speak to me regarding him. I have an issue with sending someone to jail. Can’t do it.