Finding People To hang out with when you have MI.

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@Tyler77 wrote:

Hi

I am not sure what to do for the future 10 years. My recent diagnosis and entanglement with the MI world has made me a much more kind and compassionate person. I was thinking about becoming a counselor or perhaps get into social work. I think I could really help people. They say you cant realy help a people until you walk a mile or two in their shoes, and as a person with MI I think i qualify.

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Hi @Tyler77

There is something positive to be said for adversity/suffering in helping to make us better people. Only through suffering can we learn to empathise I have found. And growing in compassion makes us stronger with more to offer I believe.

In my humble opinion the best counsellors/psychologists/psychiatrists are those who have experienced mental issues and have come through it stronger - growing in empathy being able to relate. I also believe as you do that you would really help others in the counselling field; and along this journey you would meet like minded people whom you would form bonds with.

I understand what you mean about the difficulty of forming relationships after being hurt - I went through this too. But became determined to not let these people stop me from having the best quality of life I could find (then they win), so I took a risk and ventured out joining different groups (met my soulmate at one and a couple of life long friends at another). I can tell you that I met many others before I found the special few (true friendship/partner/loyalty is a rarity).

Something I learnt is that it's healthy for the mind to mingle with others in any capacity - and that isolation worsens mental illness; but before I became involved in close friendships or the giving of my heart the other would need to have similar values (not necessarily be interested in everything I was) and "earn my trust first". The best of life lyes before you Tyler as you have a heart of gold. A precious catch/friend you would be!

Hi @Tyler77, @Former-Member, @Sehnsucht,

@Tyler77,

I think its a great idea for you to become a counselor! I have often thought that I would like to do the same thing.

But then I worry that I will be upset by the stories I hear from people who have had shocking abuse in their past. I am such a sensitive person and I believe I would aways take my work home with me and worry about my clients constantly. I would probably take on board their problems way too much and get too involved.

I actually worked in a helping profession for 25 years and I became very burnt out. In the end, I thought that it's better I don't work with people for a while. My last job was serving customers in a retail outlet and I even felt over-whelmed at times doing that! It just seems to me that people these days have so many demands and have such high expectations of what you can do for them. I would go home feeling very drained.

I am like you, @Tyler77 - one of the reasons I did not have kids is because I fear my depression/anxiety would be hereditary. I would be stuck with a child who has problems when I have problems myself. Not a great scenario to look forward too. Plus, like I said, I am kind of burnt out by caring for people, due to my past career in a helping profession. I don't think I could guarantee that I could give a child the attention it deserves.

And I fear that childbirth could lead me to getting post natal depression and then I would end up back on medication- which I don't want. I also worry about the chance of suffering depressive psychosis - having a baby and little sleep and little or no help from anyone- I'm a bit isolated at the moment, apart from my husband.

@Sehnsucht and @Tyler77,

I have been very hurt by friendships in the past, too. I find it difficult to trust people and finding a balance in friendships to be very hard. I want to get to know people on a deeper level, but I don't want to end up over-whelmed by their problems.

I guess the answer to that is to meet people who don't have any problems! It's just that such people don't exist. I suppose that being a sensitive, caring soul, I end up being the one who listens to people and cares for them. But it takes it's toll.

At the present moment in my life, I am just generally burnt out, I think. I mean, I look ok and my general health is very good - I haven't even had so much as a cold for 18 months. I do all the self-caring stuff I need to do. I get my 9 hours of sleep a night and everything.

It's just when I look out into the world - I feel bloody exhausted!!

@Sahara, massive hugs your way. xx

I will say this, that I am very thankful for the internet and forums and the ability to communicate with people, no matter if their strangers or not.

For, it is more social contact than I had two weeks ago.

I just discovered forums actually, for the first time about 10 days ago and it has greatly enriched my social existence.

Yes, while i doubt any of us will ever meet eachother officially, I am perfectly happy with just "hanging" out in cyberspace.

It's funny. Because I always complain I have no social life, I have no friends, and even today I found myself feeling sorry for myself. But then I realized I have these forums and others like it. The conversations we have on here are no different than the ones we would be having if we actually did "hang" out. In fact, they are in many respects, more meaningful. Because of the safety of annoynitmity...

Without going into further rambles, I just want to say that i feel very thankful that I have these forums and for the people that comprise the interchange of thoughts, ideas, emotions and compassion..

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