new to this

Hey there, I am new to this as well which is why I thought I would jump on and reply to your comment. I only found this forum today, and I am also just looking to unpack everything and get off my chest what has happened to me in the past. I am sorry to hear about what happened to you, I am lucky to not have experienced that kind of assult. But I got my BPD from childhood trauma.

Dont feel alone when speaking to your manager, make some time with them so you know they have the time free. Be open, honest, but don't play on how you feel. I work in a highly stressful enviorment and my boss is 'a big deal' it was hard at first but now he understands me. Well, he does his best. I think this forum will be great for you if you like to write, do you have a diary?

I am sorry if my comment doesnt help, I just didnt want you to feel alone 🙂

Hi @Mollie I’m about to head out but just read your post and wanted to give a quick response, although I will answer more in depth when I get home and have more time.

I was also sexually abused as a child and told no one, not for 40years. I finally told my husband and began councilling around 12 months ago.

Just quickly, if you’re not comfortable speaking to anyone where you work, have you considered an organisation like CASA (which is Victorian, not sure what they are called in other states). From what I am aware it is a free service - I think for a fixed amount of sessions.

There are other services but I can’t think of them off the top of my head, maybe a @Former-Member might be able to jump on and name a few.

I have to go out now, but I’ll check back a little later.

Oh, by the way - welcome to the forums 🙂

@Alwaysconfused3 Welcome to the forums. I have to head out for a bit, but I’ll be back to chat later

Hi @Mollie, it's wonderful that you have arrived at a place where you feel ready to share your childhood abuse in a space that feels safe to do so. It takes a lot of courage to reach out, it's great that you've shared with our supportive online community.

Another service that you might like to contact is Blue Knot Foundation. They specialise in supporting adults who experience abuse and trauma in childhood.

Also, you are most welcome to contact the SANE Help Centre if you would like to talk about other referral options. The phone number is 1800 18 SANE (7263), Monday to Friday, 10am to 10pm EST.

Thanks for sharing with us 🙂

@Mollie @Alwaysconfused3

Talking about our past experiences to a professional, or even just a trusted friend or colleague is very hard, it brings up so much emotion, and can be a traumatic experience in itself. But when you feel ready, (which going by your previous posts you do sound like you are ready for that step) it can relieve a lot of pressure and stress and start you on the journey of healing.

Like I said earlier, I kept my CSA a secret for 40years. I have never told my family, and have decided I probably never will. My marriage started to break down 2 years ago and through marriage counselling I realised just how much my CSA had affected both my marriage and just myself. I started seeing my marriage councillor one on one about 12 months ago for CSA and after a few months I was able to tell my husband what had happened.

It wasn’t easy, in fact I started getting terrible anxiety and panic attacks, I even had to stop the car and throw up on the side of the road on the way

home from one of my sessions. But, it does get better, a little easier. There are still bad days, I still react poorly to some triggers, but with help I can understand what I’m feeling and manage myself better.

I guess there is truth to the saying “a problem shared is a problem halved”. You are extremely brave to share your stories and to seek out help. I hope you can find a professional that you can trust.

I’m happy to chat if ever you need a friendly ear. I hope to see you both around the forums 🙂🙂

Sending love to you both @Mollie and @Alwaysconfused3 Hope today has been a good day.

Thanks everyone for the replies, I’m not the quickest replier myself but I do appreciate it!!

So things haven’t been great lately. I’ve been trying to get back into EAP but they’re not do appointments in my area at the moment and I’d probably have to wait a week or two. A friend from work has been great though I haven’t told her everything. My days at work are up and down - lately I seem to have more bad days than good.

My my manager has been amazing and very patient with me. I’ve started thinking maybe I should sit down with her and try and explain some of this stuff. I know I don’t have to, but I think maybe it would help my work environment and give her a bit of an insight. I’m not a very good talker and she knows that. I went off at a colleague the other day for tapping me on the back - something has to change. I think being honest with my manager might be the start. Thoughts and advice???