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Need support

Drifting13Casual Contributor14 July 2019, 11:40 am AEST

Need support

Hi everyone

I think my daughter has schizophrenia but it hasn't actually been diagnosed yet (waiting to hear from a Doctor who said she would organise a psych but it hasn't happened yet). In the meantime she has been put on some anti-psychotic medication but it's almost a week and no changes yet. She completely isolates herself and does absolutely nothing except sit and think, mumble to herself and at times, laugh out loud. I have tried to engage her so often but she doesn't want anything to do with me or anyone else and just walks back to her room if I happen to find her sitting in another area and try to communicate with her. She pulls faces too while having the conversations in her head and is also frowning a lot - I can already see she is causing premature wrinkles on her face :'( But that is the least of my worries. I am just so concerned for her and I don't know what to do or how to help her! I try to let her get on by herself but after some time I just end up doing some things for her or they don't get done. She has no-one at all besides me at the moment (and her brother and father but they are not here right now).

Is there any hope or light at the end of the tunnel? Do people come out of this situation with medication? I feel like I have completely lost my daughter (I read Sandy's story on a Topic Tuesday but didn't seem to get enough answers there). It's like she described, as though my daughter is in a glass bubble and we are trying to get to her but can't. She also often denies it's an issue (although she accepts that there is a problem) but when I point some things out she gets angry. Anyway, I'm at my wits end. I don't like to leave her alone but I also feel captive - I am here but she wants nothing to do with me. We are both at home alone and moved into a new rural town for her to go to University (after which this problem flared up and, I believe, was exacerbated by the stress of Uni and having to meet new people and do assignments, etc.). Uni is now on hold and we are both just existing here.

Thanks for any help and please move my post to wherever it is relevant and may get some answers.

Thank you!

3 replies

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In response to: Need support

Ali11Senior Contributor14 July 2019, 12:53 pm AEST

Re: Need support

Hi @Drifting13, we're sorry to hear about your current situation. It must be so frustrating to see this happening and have limited support. Firstly, are you able to go back to that GP and see if you can follow up on the progress of the referral?

Secondly, do you have anyone to speak to about what you are going through? It's important for carers to look after their own mental health and to also engage in self-care. You can check out the social spaces section of the forum for different threads on hobbies and interests.

In response to: Re: Need support

Drifting13Casual Contributor14 July 2019, 1:43 pm AEST

Re: Need support

Hi Ali11

Thanks for your reply. I really do want to go back to that GP but I don't somehow feel she has "my" interests at heart. She used the privacy thing and the fact that my daughter is 27, to largely exclude me from what was going on! I tried to tell her alone at first what was happening but she seemed to rush me and insisted that my daughter should be present for "privacy" reasons. She then asked her to decide if I should be there or not and of course, she said she would rather talk wihtout me there. So I don't even know where things are now. She made follow-up appointments which I was excluded from and apparently has sent her to a counsellor (whom she has now seen twice) but I know nothing about what happened there. It's really unfair as I am the only one who really cares and is pulling my hair out trying to help.

Thanks for the other suggestions. I do have some hobbies of my own but must admit that I feel unable to focus lately as I'm just too worried about her. I have never been a "worrier" or had similar problems myself so this is all very new and frightening to me. I have sisters (in other towns) but have chosen not to talk to them at this point as I'm still protecting my daughter. I know the stigma attached to mental health and I don't know who I can trust with sharing my feelings. Besides, they are not in a position to help, just listen, so I'm not sure that it's even worth it.

I will probably have to make an appointment, which I will have to pay for, just to ask the Doctor for a progress report!

In response to: Re: Need support

Ali11Senior Contributor15 July 2019, 6:26 pm AEST

Re: Need support

It definitely can be frustrating when you feel locked out of your daughter's healthcare due to privacy @Drifting13. You are not alone in this frustration, we have had the same concerns on other threads from carers. Perhaps you can set up a meeting with the GP, your daughter and yourself to put together a plan if things get worse, as suggested by carer Jo in "What I wish I knew when I became a carer".

Unfortunately, the stigma associated with mental health is still around, even though we are slowly seeing change. Just continue talking openly with those who you feel comfortable with (such as us here).

Finally, please don't feel that you shouldn't continue with your hobbies. It doesn't make you less caring. In fact, if you make sure you're making time for yourself, you are looking after your own health and can support your daughter. Wishing you the best.

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