EMDR - Has anyone done this

Hi @Zoe7 , thanks so much for checking in on me. Unfortunately the news isn't good. Am in a rly bad way. In a state of constant fear and panic, like an unending panic attack. Hav involuntary leg movements constantly and a host of other physical and mental symptoms that are rly scaring me. I'm rly afraid as to what's going to hapn to me. It's bn 10-11 months of torture and nobody seems to be able to help. I'm rly scared Zoe.

That does sound so scary @Doglover I honestly cannot believe that they did not listen to you in hospital and even worse they discharged you in that state. I wish I had answers for you or was there to wrap my arms around you and help Hon. I also wish I had words that would help but I know there are none. Here and listening though Hon and very much hearing how hard it is

Thank u @Zoe7 for ur reply post. I feel very alone. My husband is struggling to cope and is talking about putting me back in hospital which I absolutely don't want to do. I am so scared. It feels like my body is breaking down and normal functions are not working normally.

I was once a very capable high functioning person, now I'm a dependant. It's a very distressing way to live. I can't think, can't make simple decisions, can't drive, struggle with self care and preparing meals, now afraid of everyday things I wasn't afraid of before. My husband is struggling with the changes in me, as am I, and is at his wits end. Im so scared.

Under 'normal' circumstances I would suggest that you need hospital @Doglover but knowing you not only came out feeling worse but also were sent out in that state it is extremely difficult. I totally hear you about how much this is affecting every aspect of your life ...was in a similar situation a couple of years ago where both my physical and mental health were extremely bad. I could not function at all emotionally and was so physically unwell that I could do very little for myself. Living on my own meant I got even worse. It is good that you have some support there with you but also very much hearing how much that is being affected and how much your husband is suffering too. It is a horrible position to be in Hon.

Thank u for ur understanding and empathy @Zoe7 .Yes this is having massive impact on every area of our lives. My husband is doing his best but gets very frustrated and angry at times, he just doesn't know what to do to help me and has largely given up. I can't function mentally, emotionally, physically, the impact is huge. They have tried me on so many different meds, none of them helped, most made me worse. How did u get out of the situation u were in a couple of years ago?

Im reposting this

i didnt have anyone helping me at all for most of my life living alone like a complete hermit to avoid being triggered.

Its why i liked this Psychologist cause hes quite impressed with what ive survived thru. I respected him for acknowledging that. Took for me to have a stillborn child i couldnt abort for me to start speaking out. That was my limit of pain.

Was in emergency accomodation no car no $ then 2 wks out of hosp got letter of eviction as no longer required housing. So they were going to kick me out on the street. Well i then exploded. Enough was enough! I was 37 & started to fight back. Everyone walked all over me til then. Its like people sense now ill speak out so they back off. I keep to myself tho cause i can c that few here would ever guess where ive come from. Makes me feel distant from people. Its going to take a long time for me to get close with people tho im attracting a lot of nice women in their 50's & 60's wanting to learn ex from me. I might just find good support doing this job to my surprise hey. Sexual abuse is a hard one i think.

After I experienced a 2nd sexual assault I said to myself I had to stop this pattern for my safety. It really alerted me to where my life was heading

Why is this constantly happening to me i thought.

Im really hoping the therapy addresses this. Im not afraid of facing any of that actually. Im not afraid of men. Im afraid of women. In the last 8yrs i kept attracting married men wanting sex from me. Thats the latest pattern im trying to stop. I seem to have broken a lot of patterns tho. Dont have bad home owner or real estate. No bullying in gym. Theres really a lot in standing up for yourself. Its quite powerful & does change the patterns with time. Its a constant thing tho if u come from a past whereby u lost all your voice & power. Well they say sexual abuse is all about power not sex. Maybe saying no constantly to married men is my way of stating that i deserve better than that & thats all it takes to one day break the pattern. Ill c

Hey @Former-Member,

Thanks for editing your post, I'm sorry to hear you've been through these traumatic experiences. It is great that your psychologist acknowledges your resilience and that you do too. You have survived some terrible things with a lot of insight and you have identified what you want to change.

Everyone's experience of a termination or stillbirth is different, but just in case anyone has had difficult experiences around this or would like to talk about how they're going off the forums too, there is GriefLine on 1300 845 745 (available from 12 noon to 3am 7 days a week).

For anyone who has experienced abuse or violence current or past there is 1800 RESPECT.

Take care,

Tortoiseshell

@Doglover

@Doglover

@Zoe7

@outlander

@Shaz51

@Appleblossom

@Bunniekins

@MDT

For 4-6wks ive been trying to rent a hall to teach exercise classes from.

Sure ive got the interest but this has dragged on for so long.

I havent worked for nearly all my adult life because of surviving a terrible childhood then a lot of sexual abuse after.

It took me 2 goes to get my cert3 in fitness. I had way more practical experience than everyone in the class but i was the only student with an horrific past & mental illness.

The teachers just didnt think i could get thru the studies. Mostly because i wasnt on strong enough meds.

Today i found out the approval for the hall is possibly another wk away. It really hurt me.

Im so scared of my future & not being able to provide for myself.

Im trying so hard but im alone. No friends or family in a new town & struggling to get anything happening no matter how hard i try.

I cant go to meditation centre anymore. Cant handle being around people that have so much more than me. It only highlights what i dont have.

They dont get it & never will cause theyve never lived their entire life with no1.

Ill try & pick myself up tomorrow & sell my product to more retirement villages.

I hate selling myself. Im really good at what i do & know heaps but selling myself is very hard cause the truth is if i die no1 would even care apart from my son

@MDT

Hes 16 a good kid.

He has no relatives or anyone in the country.

Almost every bday ive spent on my own & so has he now