InWonderland_01Casual Contributor
Blanking and changing.
Just wanting some suggestions.
I feel empty, emotionless, can’t think, I don’t feel like I’m with reality some days. Unable to gain energy and focus, but still able to show some signs of motivation and do daily tasks, cleaning and working etc.
I find when I have time to myself, I tend to get emotional and overthink to much. Sometimes I just stare into space without thinking, feeling and having no thoughts go through these tend to range for a few minutes.
On a typical day I might get these scenarios, having confidence of doing something, but a few minutes through thinking myself into a bad mood and not able to do what I was wanting to do, but later on in the day I get angry at myself, thinking I was just being dramatic and my whole emotion and personality changes.
A recent example:
I have someone in my life whom I’m not with but have been with in the past that is wanting a life with me. I do want the same, the fact is that we are long distance at the moment as I am away for 6 months. We have been through many ups and downs.
During the time of our conversation I was happy and trusting, all of a sudden I had a rush of emotion, turning anxious and weary, dreading and thinking the worst of the future. Basically wanting to disconnect from that person, with it passing a few minutes later on them calming me down via message.
Not with the same situation, but it tends to happen regularly with others, such as acquaintances, I become trusting of them, something triggers me and I feel the a rush of anxiety and with uncontrolled fear and emotions against them, getting angry at myself for letting my barrier down, later on in the day, returning to being happy again. It also sounds quite silly, but when I’m having a really great day, I reevaluate it during the night, and always wander what negativity is around the corner to destroy it, so my hopes go back down, of remaining positive.
I have been getting quite forgetful lately to, not remembering obvious things that I have done throughout the day, with others or notes reminding me of what I’ve done. I’ve seemed to blank out a lot of my past for certain reasons so I don’t know if this has any connection.
Is someone able to explain what I’m going through, with some suggestions on how to help?