Caring for sisters with MI

Have spoken to her a couple of times @Shaz51 . Plan on catching up this weekend.

hello @silhouette

how are you

hope you are ok my friend xx

Hi @Former-Member, sorry I've missed this thread all this time, haven't logged into the forums for months. Its a great idea talking about sisters as we care for them no matter how strained the relationship is. How is your sister? Have you and Mr Darcy moved closer yet? How often do you get to visit her now? Face to face is always better. Though receiving a hand written letter, from friends or family, has a nostalgic warm feel for me too.

My sister has moved again, into the country 4hrs away and she won't 'pick up phone calls for days on end. I can't help feel she's killedHerself or about to and I worry myself sick, and want to do a welfare check... but she hates that. She says "if ya love me you'd visit more" and I should, just haven't yet... Truth is I find it so draining, and I know it's the depression, I think, but she doesn't seem glad to see me. She's detached and flat emotionally. Guess I should go visit soon,bits been a few months. She's crapped out this week because a work colleague had a brain aneurysm and died, at only 29... Thrown her a bit but what can ya say?

Guess all we can do is 'be' there for them, even when it always feels one sided.

How do you cope with your Mr Darcy, is it a bit one sided? Air only when he has relapse. Must get lonely even though your not alone.

Ya think us sisters would be closer, both being single, but we're guarded. I blame mum a lot,vwe,vher MI, she was horrible to us.

Silhouette 💕

ah ha @silhouette

@Former-Member and I want to know everything my friend xxxx

@silhouette

Hi there. I am a little worried that your post might be interpret as demanding, if not hostile. If this was not your intention then sorry to raise it. It can be easy to be misunderstood on forums, so we encourage members to take care and ensure respectfulness.

regards

Whitehawk

sorry my @silhouette , have not read your message to @Former-Member , I will now xx

@silhouette

Relationship with Sis is OK - I ring her regularly but apparently she was stewing a bit as she misunderstood something I said recently, once I explained why I said what I did, she could see I had her interests at heart. I keep sending her funny texts as well as checking in ones so she knows I care. She has not mentioned being suicidal.

Yes we have moved, we now live approx 4-5 hrs away from her. Keeping some distance was important to us (my family can be hard work). Initially I had thought we would try and visit my family a weekend/ month, we might find that a bit much. Might see if we can go every 2-3 months (Dog boarding needs to be sorted, was a problem when we did visit). Family are mindful of Mr Darcy's needs and don't expect constant visits and it might be easier in one way if I visited by myself. I would need to go for 4-5 days to make the bus trip worthwhile.

Relationship with Mr Darcy is thankfully not one sided (only when acute/unwell/in pain is he less than considerate). He is very functional but has trouble understanding medical things and he does have some memory issues too. I have been intentional about making friendships. I think that grief is a lonely thing and I had a lot of that, but thankfully I had an understanding friend and we were good for each other.

I struggled through Mr Darcy's crisis, not coping. I think once I faced the reality of our situation and worked on my own healing from it, things have been heaps better and I think it has helped me understand what is happening with Sis and I find with short visits that I don't get frustrated.