Well hello Wild54 - it is your lucky day, and mine too for that matter. I too am exceptionally new to this forum, minutes infact, joined to respond to you 
Peri(expletive)menopause and I are recent friends and some of my experiences at that time are your experience now. I couldn't go past without sharing that, offering you some validation, letting you know it's going to be ok and offering hope. Paralells for you now as it was for me then, you're not alone.
Ok so glaring difference is I'm single and was at that time, but can add that despite the boyfriend being distant with you, uninvolved and not asking you about this evil business, it's a positive and most likely an uintended safe/life-saving one for him too if you've not entered and descended deep into the pit of full blown Rage Stage. Thinking if there was to have been an (obviously this is a fictional descriptionthey don't exist) attentive, caring, understanding and gorgeously wonderful significant other in my life at that time he'd have, at the very least, been stabbed numerous times in the eye. But all the same, I get that there should be support or something else but I digress.
So Aunt Flo last popped by Xmas of 2017 after the few years of lead-in by hardcore, irregular Aunt Flo pop-ins, hot flushes, extreme fatigue, sleepless nights, etc. By early January - as I now know to be the beginning of my year in peri-menopase - she'd slapped me with an entirely foreign and unfathomable new range of mind altering "somethings". Having done extensive research for years leading up to this next life event, decades conquering mental unhealth and living my best positive mental health, I thought peri-menopause/menopause in that department would be a breeze, I'd prepared. Awareness, positive lifestyle adjustments, self-care and coping skills all refined over several decades to what was the best fit and worked for me, I felt more ready to take on these demons.
Nu-uh. Nope. No way. Nothing.......nothing. Nothing at all will prepare you for the road ahead. Nothing. Uncontrolled, irrational and ridiculous to the extreme thoughts on everyday scenarious going very badly, events in the past that were of no conseqence at the time replayed with same uncontrolled, irrational and ridiculous to the extrene alternative horrific outcomes, any and every bad thought you've buried in the past, forgotten about and even those that had been dealt with successfully is going to pop in too.
Hot flushes, mood-swings - that really should be renamed multi-massive pendulums as there's no "swinging" back and forth they're directionless to the extreme - no vebal filter, intense guilt, full-awareness without control, hungry all the time and did I mention the fatigue? Then BOOM!!!! With the new school depression, anxiety, anger, rage, guilt, intense flashbacks invading waking hours and dreams is another something new - PTSD! Thinking back as there were much lesser symptoms, it was most likely hovering around amongst life lot the past few years and hit full-bloom at that time.
Fast forward to Xmas 2018, one year anniversary and the official launch of menopause, waving peri goodbye and a whole new lot of experiences and research. Sometimes this can be a good thing, sometimes not - that's up to you - but to be frank, some was quite frightening too. If there's existing or history of mental health issues, you're going to get slammed harder and in extreme cases can lead to schizophrenia. Seriously? But you know what pissed me off/upset me/depressed me more? The chosen ones, the "oh I didn't get any symptoms my periods just stopped" wonder women, those who breezed through. I'm sorry, you have no place in the menopause realm as you've not done the rights of passage to get there as others have - future reference for anyone, just pretend things got a little bit shit, there were a few feverish moments and one time you did have to change sweaty sheets - humour us 
So I'd decided to try changing the mind-set of this whole menopause bizzo and look at is as a celebration of entering my next phase, faked happiness and lots of "yaaaay menopause, awesome" moments with those around me - I've always been a lot more open than some may want with the whole women's bizzo. We need to open up dialogue on this as so much is unknown throughout the medical profession and specifically women!
By the end of January/February 2019 another dramatic change! Massive reduction in what was going on in my head in the year prior. Huge. That BS exited much as it had entered only a lot less noticeable, unfortunately. Still ridiculously hungry all the time, reduced fatigue, a better quality of sleep, the incinerating, thermal wave, instant full body sweat-slicks still there but getting less and less each day and haven't had one singe around mid-March. Huh? Yes. None..........for the moment! I'm not naive enough to think this is it, but yaaaaaaaay menopause, I'm staying positive. Am I finallyfinallyfinally going to be given one of life's breaks after all the hard yards I've put in? What? Me? Yaaaaaaaaay menopause.
I honestly didn't know how I was going to get through last year, my perimenopause year, nor try and fathom what was going to lay ahead for years or even decades and could even be worse..........trying right now to think back is hard, almost unfathomable so exactly how TF did I actually do it? I really don't know, but I'm here now, my mental strength has never been this consistent and strong and I got this.
You can too. Keep going, use what strategies and coping mechanisms you've learned over the years as they do help. Three monthly blood tests with your GP – cholesterol, vitamic/minerals, thyroid, etc. These will go all over the place, if they haven't already, and with appropriate adjustments to some with diet and exercise – blood pressure/cholesterol for instance – won't require pharmaceutical intervention as they're easily reduced. My thyroid went bonkers for a few months too – underactive symptoms but was overactive, go figure – a few months before perimenopause and that's another little mind/thought trickery thingos 
Self-care, follow as much as possible the suggested peri/menopausal food regime, 30 mins hardcore walk, and all that other stuff one must do when one starts to enter a certain age will all help. You got this too.
