Happy but a bit lonely

Hey @Meowsy, it is great that you're in a happy relationship and your family life is great, what do you think the difference is with your interaction with your loved ones and those who you are meeting for the first time? Are you nervous with those who may not know you as well as those who do?

Hi @Ali11. I guess there is a little bit of anxiety and nerves about what I think I'm going to say to make myself sound weird or abnormal. I often get into brief conversations/encounters with new people only for them to not say too much to me after a couple things, and then they seem to look at me a bit oddly and not know how to proceed. I have been a part of a lot of awkward silences. Most the time all I can do is smile at them and try to make myself as friendly as possible. I guess, when I answer questions they do ask me, I often don't get much of a response after I say something to them, which makes me self conscious that I'm too boring or I did something wrong.
I was very shy, barely said a word and shaking a lot when I first started seeing my partner too, even though I'm now very comfortable to tell him anything and chat his ears off, so it does take me time to warm up to new people.

It may be that people also are experiencing the same feeling when chatting to you @Meowsy, we are so worried about what others are perceiving us that we aren't ever being our true selves. Have you found that you are able to chat forever about anything that you are interested in?

I'd guess you are probably right @Ali11. I try to keep that in mind, but sometimes I do forget it. I don't really tend to talk about a particular interest at length in person, but I do if it's online. When I'm face to face I get overwhelmed easily I guess you could say, and my thoughts don't run smoothly, or tend to go blank, so my conversations get a bit all over the place and I over explain myself which doesn't always make sense, or I just don't say much at all.

It's so easy to forget @Meowsy because we are so worried about how others perceive us. It's so understandable in that your brain runs a million miles an hour when you start to get anxious. We tend to find that talking about something that we enjoy, with people who share the same interests helps break down that initial barrier.

Hi @Meowsy , just wanted to welcome you to the forums. I'm not very good at building relationships or friendships. If you have hobbies that you like and can talk about that helps. Maybe you can try and join some clubs at your university. There is also 'meet ups' that i've read about people using here with some success. I hope you can have a look around here and maybe find some topics your interested in and participate in some of the chats if you are comfortable. Libraries are also a good social hub so you could check in there to see if there are any activities you can ge involved with.

I think a lot of us here have very similar feelings to you. I definitely understand the sadness.

Stay positive, believe in yourself and i think you willl find genuine friendships and relationships.

Hello @Gazza75. Thank you for your response. I've had a look at meet up groups but I'm always too scared to actually go to any, but I might give it another look and check out the library as well, as you suggested. I'm into art and walking, so maybe that could be a start!

I shall try reading more of the discussions on here and get involved also 🙂

Your welcome @Meowsy , there's no pressure to get involved with the forums. Theres quite a few discussions on art and hobbies that might be of interest to you. I understand the fear around going to meet ups. The library might be a good first step. A lot of shopping centres also have community notice boards that have interest groups that you may be into. Sometimes they are kind of hidden so you might have to try and find centre management or ask security to locate!

Art and walking are good hobbies. My only artistic talent was making baskets, but, I haven't done any in forever. Hard to find the proper materials here unfortunately. Is there a specific art you like or most art in general?

Hope you are having a good day 🙂

@Gazza75 I like drawing and I'm recently getting into painting. I like photography as well, but have not done that for a little while. I was wondering about drawing groups a little while ago, so maybe I'll try and suss that out somewhere near by! I do also have an appreciation for all forms of art though.

Good for you @Meowsy . I like to think I'm alright with a camera and photography. I grew up in the era of film so it seems a lot easier now than back then, and cheaper to. My favourite picture was one I got while surfing, it was only a small wave, but, looked pretty cool. I also have one from when I was watching others surf I took with my cousin. I have that one at my desk at work.

I have always wished I had some talent with drawing and painting. I'd love to be able to do landscapes. Sadly I do not have any talent in that area. You could look at photography and art groups in your area. At my local show they had some really amazing submissions. Some of it really inspiring. Pretty sure you'll be able to relate to those people easier than others.

Maybe, when the picture feature is working here again you can share some of your art. There are some talented and creative people here as I think you'll notice. No pressure on that, but, would be nice to see!