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Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

In this Topic Tuesday we will be looking at what it’s like to care about someone in your life, even if you aren’t a carer or do not identify as a carer. Maybe your friend is going through a tough time with their mental health and you want to help them? Maybe a family member is struggling and you want to support them as much as you can. We will cover things like how to have a supportive conversation with someone, what can you do if someone doesn’t want help. For those carers that are a bit more informed on these things – please do join us and share your experiences and insights as we knowledge share throughout the night too!

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I'm new here - what is Topic Tuesday?

Topic Tuesday runs from 7pm - 9pm AEST monthly. Each month we focus on a different topic, with the session facilitated by a Community Manager or Moderator. Sometimes Topic Tuesday will feature a special guest, who is an expert in the topic.

The first post of the thread (this one) will give you an idea of what the topic is and what will be covered.

How do I get involved?

Topic Tuesday takes place right here! It's text based, so no software is needed. During the session, to keep up with the latest posts hit the 'refresh' button on your browser for the latest posts (it doesn't automatically update). Keep an eye for page numbers at the top & bottom of the page, and jump to the highest page number for the most recent post.

Throughout the session, the facilitator will put questions out for you to answer, usually asking for your own experience on the topic. To contribute to the session, just hit the 'reply' button and share your thoughts. No answers are right or wrong and everyone is welcome to get involved.

If you have any questions about how to use the Forums, check out our Guides.

85 replies

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In response to: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

@Determined it sounds like you know you did the right thing which is good but it doesn't always help the hurt. Sometimes, certain situations will require us to have to contact people or others to help the person we are concerned for.

Another big part of helping someone who doesn't want help is around managing your own feelings, expectations or triggers too. It can be hard to step back or let go if someone doesn't or hasn't wanted help 💙

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

Totally agree,

I know in my situation, I had to take a break.

I knew I couldn’t take any more so I left and took the kids with me.

I felt terrible, but the situation got so bad that we needed space and to feel safe.

I truly believe that this also gave him space. As hard as it was for everyone- things have been soo much better since

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

I agree, I found that I was able to better help my husband (if it was wanted or not) once I understood and managed my own feelings. I started going and talking to someone myself which gave me the tools to do this.
I know I am still on this journey of understanding my feelings and this in turn supporting his but I am really making progress in this space 🙂

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

@Former-Member kindness in gifts can be so lovely and its good to understand the perspective around boundaries here too 🌟

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

Understanding and managing our own feelings = 😀😀😀

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

@Determined you mentioned organising a call to a family member for someone and I just wanted to also mention that sometimes we need to do things to support someone that might be at risk or if we are worried for their safety.

There is a really good resource via the website Conversations Matter on how to support someone if they are unsafe. It's good to remember too that it is not down to just you to support them in that moment, always contact emergency services if you are concerned for safety.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

Haha managing my own feelings is a growth area for me. I just feel the need to help people and when I can't feel a sense of failure.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

Understanding and managing our own feelings, totally agree @Former-Member , @Former-Member

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

@Mrsjones and @Georgie_Girl good work on doing what was right for you and being aware of your own feelings at play. It can seem hard but it sounds like in turn managing that helped both you and your loved one.

This is a good lead into my next discussion topic as we all chat about managing feelings. How do you do that? And I am going to link this into self care as well. What process, steps, actions did you go through to try to check in/connect/understand your own feelings and move forward based on that reflection?

It is so important in a process of being there for someone, whether its all the time or in a moment, that we make sure to check in on ourselves as we can all be affected no matter how much we try not to be. Its part of caring for another and is a beautiful challenge of that caring.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Caring about, not caring for // Tues 20 Aug, 7pm AEDT

Safety was a potential concern in that instance @Former-Member . Emotional time for all involving grief .

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