Career Chat // Managing anxiety at work // CLOSED

Good morning @Former-Member and thanks for stopping by ... and mostly thanks for sharing

I definitely want to expand on what you've said ... let's talk about the topic of medication first.

Medication is a definite TOOL in your toolbox! Sometimes due to hormal imbalances, diet, trauma, genetics ... the list goes on ... medication is a great addition to other practices (tools) we have available to us.

So, if you would allow me - it's not sad ... it's necessary at the moment, and you've qualified that by saying maybe it's temporary. Maybe it is, maybe it's not as temporary as you think.

This leads us to the second part you shared and that's the drive to work and all that thinking and catastrophising you're doing! AAArrrgh you poor thing! It must be awful for you ... yet you (and so many of us) do it so well, not leaving one mental stone unturned until we've thought of every possible thing that could go wrong until our mind is a complete mess and ... hey look you're at work!

Firstly, hands up who does this? Yes, we all do to some extent. It's human nature to do this with our minds it's called ruminating and all us deep thinkers out there are very good at it ... unfortunately it serves NO purpose ... no ... sadly no purpose at all. Ruminating is what brings many of my clients to my door - they can't stop the mind racing away from them with all kinds of catastrophic, dramatic, future seeing, black and white thinking thoughts!

Acutally they're known as automatic thoughts ... they're well known to the mental health industry. The idea around them is that they are our mind's 'go to' when we're anxious ... they automatically pop up!

These negative automatic thoughts or NATs as i call them, can be our worst enemies. And like all enemies you need to know them very well or they just might get the better of you.

So, for those of us who have NATs one thing to definitely have in your toolbox is a strategy for dealing with your NATs ...

For example ... if I may use your example @Former-Member your 'go-to's' are fairy catastrophic and dramatic, you imagine the worst .. i believe you also favour projecting into the future - in those moments you like to be a fortune teller! Predicting the (not pleasant) future ... all the while increasing your anxiety levels to the point where they're causing you harm.

My strategy is to RECED away from these thoughts ... yes it's another acronym

R - Rewind - ask yourself, "hey what was I just doing or thinking that led to this catastrophic thought about work?" When you look back you can easily see what led you to having your NAT (this makes it less powerful)

E - Explain - tell yourself "it's not real it's just a NAT" Talk to yourself ... it's not real I'm just having a thought right now. And you can be sure it's a NAT if you're just thinking it (unless you just remembered you left the iron on then it's time to turn back hehe)

C - Clasify it - go ahead and call it - "oh I'm having a NAT - a catastrophic/dramatic/fortune-telling/black & white thinking .. thought. (choose one) Oops

E - Evidende - now find evidence it's okay to let that NAT go ... this requires self talk and self understanding, What can you see/hear/smell or touch that tells you it's just a pesky NAT getting in the way of a perfectly good drive to work on this find morning ...

Now, what do you think? Can you learn to RECED away from NATs?

It's very helpful when you're deep in one to simply stop and SEE yourself having the NAT ... consciousness is a great thing.

MIndfulness is very powerful for that reason - when you're in the here and now your mind is protected (somewhat) from NATs ..

Toolbox contents: Medication, RECED instructions and mindfulness. Looking good!

Again many thanks for sharing @Former-Member

"I am an old man and have known many troubles,

most of which never happened"

Mark Twain

I think that sums it up nicely for many of us!

So, picking up on our chat about having a toolbox for managing anxiety at work ...

I have some more 'tools' that you might like to add to your toolbox:

1, Ask for help and support from your friends, family, counsellors or EAP (Employment Assistance Program) if you have that available to you.

• get perspective
• gain reflection
• practice asking for help!

2. Watch your thoughts! Remember to watch your thoughts because they are what affect your feelings ... feelings affect your actions ... When you use the words should, awful, terrible, I must, I can't in your self talk you are increasing your upset feelings.

• Choosing to think more positively will make you feel better and when you feel a bit better you can begin to behave in a more self-affirming way
  
  
• I have a friend who summed it up she said, 'it's all about what you do with it in your head'. Correct.
  
  

3. It's normal to resist new ideas, so practice Tips 1 and 2 ... practice, practice practice.

• My client commented to me what many people think - She said:
  "I thought I only had to practice thinking positively when I was feeling anxious ...
  because I thought practice was about having mental health issues.
  But actually I have to practice all the time because that's how I get mental health!' Yes, yes yes

4. At work and in life, you cannot control others or situations. Recognise this and as soon as you do you will release tension and anxiety.

• By trying to control situations you forget the only locus of control is WITHIN YOU and that's the truth.
  
  
• Others have their own issues, agendas, rights and make decisions that have nothing to do with you. Give up trying to control the situation, focus on your thoughts and you'll feel better.
  
  
• Accept things you can't change ... this is a realistic way to live. If you're not donig this then your energy will be depleated, you'll struggle with relationships and still nothing will change ...

5.Reduce your upset feelings first you will be more likely to behave in less self-defeating ways.

• Acknowledge how you feel ... then do some relaxation exercises, deep breathing, asking for help, seeking some alone time or sharing time with someone who cares, writing in a journal, meditating, yoga ... anything that is nurturing to your mental health will lead to feeling better.

6. Practice positive thinking. Changing the way you think - which is habitual - will take practice. So start NOW! Not when you're upset, that's too hard!

• Begin to think more positively now ... My EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) friend says carry a little card around with positive thoughts ... great idea ... good for the toolbox.

Ultimately your toolbox should empower you to feeling strong enough to face the world knowing ... if something comes up, you're good to go

Hi @Former-Member so happy to be chatting today btw

Yes ... discretion is important at work. It's that sense that if others see you're 'freaking' out they may judge you or worse feel sorry for you!

To deal with major anxiety, such as in public speaking situations, I favour planning and practice.

Truthfully if you're a nervous person when speaking in front of a crowd, I can't promise it will ever go away. People who feel this way, anxious and nervous in public speaking, often feel it always ... the key is Planning and Practice.

Plan -

Figure out what feels right for you when you need to do public speaking.

A friend's encouragement just before?

A drink of water? Ten miniutes of meditating?

Your correct medication?

Good night's sleep before hand?

Slow breathing (I'll give instructions in a minute)?

Reading your notes whilst sitting in the ladies taking long slow breaths?

Then figure out what toolbox tools are good for YOU in this type of situation ... yoga won't help right now but slow breathing definitely will, compassionate thoughts, noticing any NATs you're having (this is a major one as it's probably what you're telling yourself that's causing your anxiety).

Remember that you're speaking as an expert and no-one wants to see you fail (rational thought here) and use other techniques that your Psych might have taught you that sit well with you.

For example, Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) it's tapping and works wonders to clear anxiety, Moving Beyond Stress Method, this is a breathing and visualising technique, Mindfulness based CBT this is a technique your Psych could also teach you to allow the anxiety to move through you.

There are others, and they're handy to have in your toolbox but you have to .........

Practice!

Don't, please don't leave it all to the last minute!

That is, practice all the tools in your toolbox often, get used to feeling anxious then putting your tool into action ... notice your body how it feels when it begins to get anxious (this is very important) and then begin to take action with your tools.

Also don't confuse anxiety with excitement - they tend to feel the same! But the more you practice the better you will get at noticing when you're excited rather than anxious (although one can turn in to the other so stay alert!)

So if you only practice on the day you're about to speak ... that's a risky way to deal with it.

Practice speaking in front of your family ... then a few more people ... then if you can, even more people until you can just accept that there's lots of people in the room whilst you're talking.

Best of luck @Former-Member

It has come to that time again, what a great CareerChat today @NikNik and @Former-Member!

Thanks again for sharing

I hope you were able to gain something from today's chat about managing anxiety in the workplace, remember if things are really bad ask for help ... I hope we're all okay with that.

It is one of the tools in the toolbox ... so it really is a must

Now ... that Slow Breath Technique I mentioned in a previous post is described below ...

In the meantime, have a wonderful weekend everyone and I look forward to seeing you again on CareerChat next Friday, same time and place.

Slow Breathing Relaxation Technique

1. Begin by sitting calmly and gently dropping your shoulders, hands in your lap

2. Close your eyes gently and take a breath in

3. On your next breath hold for a count of 2 then breath out for a count of 4

4. Then breath in for a count of 6 and again hold for 2

5. Then out for 4 ... and repeat 6 (breath in), 2 (hold), 4 (breath out) ...

Do this 4 or 5 times to restore your body to feeling calm.

Bye for now!