To hospital or not to hospital

Hi @Doglover ,
That's so horrible about the meds and symptoms and pretty much everything else. It's got to be so hard on you and your husband. It's understandable your scared and getting more fearful about everything. Along with lack of sleep, I can understand why its taking a toll on you. I wish hubby was more supportive, I'm sure you could do with his help right now when things seem to be impossible.

Do you mean the public hospital hasn't been able to help you for 10 months or the private one? I thought the private one would have different doctors and may be able to try alternative treatments for you. You have been very brave and courageous to fight as hard as you have been. Most of us would have lost our marbles by now. I certainly would have.

I hope you can get some financial relief with your husband starting to share more of the burden with you. It's not just a matter of being able to snap out of it. That's a very narrow minded view on things.

I have my fingers crossed for you on the bulk billing, you've got to get a break soon DogLover! I know you are worried about the wash out, it's understandable. Maybe it won't be quite as bad as you think. Could you ask more questions about what it will involve so perhaps you won't be as fearful?

I'm glad we can relate to each other, I'm not married, but, everything else you mentioned resonates with Me. I'm at work, but, I don't really want to be. I'm getting by, but, everything is different now. I am trying to turn things around, but, its not easy to keep pushing for little or no gains. It's hard not to feel trapped in a helpless cycle.

You are doing what you can about your situation, without much help. Thanks for your kind words and encouragement despite the horrors you are going through. Just remember your not alone, a lot of us are supporting and barracking for you here.

Take care

Thanks so much @outlander , I rly appreciate It. Things still just as tough, just trying to hang in there. I hope ur doing well Outlander.

💜 Doglover.

Hi @Gazza75 ,

This is a reply to your message on the 23rd - sorry to take so long to get back to.

Thank you so much for your support.

Yes it's been a very difficult time and very hard on both of us that's for sure. My husband came to a meeting with me yesterday which was to try and help him understand things a bit better and he has been a bit better since then, but it's only been 1 day so don't want to get my hopes up too much yet!

It is the public hospital that I have been going to for the last 10 months and I am no better. I just seem to have so much problems with medications. Iv got about 10 days til private cover kicks in - it's a day by da y proposition as to whether I can hold out til then.

I hope something will be forthcoming job wise for hubby too. He has made a few contacts but cld still be doing more.

I have tried to find out more info re washout - they're pretty cagey. I think it's going to be pretty torturous to b honest and I have no idea how I will get thru it or what they will b able to do to get me thru it.

I'm sorry you do it tough too @Gazza75 and that u sometimes feel feel trapped in a helpless cycle, I understand that one all too well.

Thanks so much for your support and encouragement Gazza, I really appreciate it. It's nice to know that thr are people on here like u that rly do understand. Thanks Gazza. I wish u all the very best. Take care of urself.

💙 Doglover

Hey @Doglover , hope you have managed to get some rest in over the weekend and that your feeling alright. You are edging ever closer to private hospital. Hopefully the panic isn't building up to much for you. I'm glad to hear that your husband is being more supportive after your meeting.

Its a bit strange the hospital aren't forthcoming with information about the washout. I'd find it more comfortable if I knew more about it. As for getting through it I think your just going to have to grit your teeth and prey you can. From everything you have said and experienced, its not going to be easy or pleasant, however, maybe once your through it life will be more bearable and even enjoyable. I really hope so.

I don't know if you listen to much music, but, that could help you get through. Maybe get one of those sleeping masks to so you can blockout light. They only cost a few dollars. Pack extra clothes in case you sweat a lot. Pack some of your favourite dvd's or movies so you can relax some of the time. Do you know how long your admission will be? I'm not very religious, but, will definitely say a prayer or two for you when you go in. Think I read somewhere that its the 5th? Have everything crossed that you can hold out till then. Take care. 🙂 💙

Thanks @MDT , just came over here to tag u. As u can see, I'm not in a good way either. Doing it ridiculously tough. I'm sorry ur struggling too my friend.

Thank you @MDT , so do I, I rly do. Every day, every moment of the day is torture for me due to my symptoms. I rly hope things aren't as bad as that for u, but it sounds like ur doing it tough. Do u ever think -

I don't know how much more of this I can take? I do, regularly. And yet somehow I get thru another day.

Thinking of u my friend.

Hi @Gazza75 ,

Thanks for ur post. I'm doing the same, and yes as u said, edging closer to hospital. Yes my mind is filled with fear thoughts of worst case scenarios - I'm trying to build some skills from my psych to address the out of control catastrophising thoughts but it's not easy. I'm definitely very scared. Especially with my fear of ingredients in meds making me worse and therefore the fear that I won't get better. It's is so strong. 7 more days to go

Hubbies increased support lasted a day or two, haven't seen much of it over the last cpl of days. He doesn't ask me how I am or nething becoz he doesn't rly want to know. Well he knows I'm doing it tough so doesn't ask so he doesn't hav to hear about it. It's pretty hard coz I just feel like I can't rly say nething.

Yeah I'm pretty scared about how bad it's going to be coming off the meds, I rly don't see how they can do it when my anxiety is still so bad. Still they r the professionals not me. But the professionals haven't bn able to come up with a solution for the last 10 months so whose to say it's going to be different in hospital? I rly hope they r able to get me thru this and that things will b better the other side. Perish the thought if not.

I don't listen to much music but maybe I need to start. I will need some things to while away the time, though they do have groups every day I believe. Thanks for the tip on the extra clothes, wldnt have thought of that. From memory I don't think u can take ur own pillow or bedding in can u? Shame, im rather attached to my pillow and one of my blankets. I guess they figure u can hide things in there. Thanks for the tip re movies too - I wldnt have thought of that either.

I don't have ne idea how long admission will be. I suspect it will be a while. Depending on what they decide to do, at the very least that's 2 lots of short term anti anxiety meds they need to get me off, and may need to trial different longer term meds in order to be able to do that. Most ppl seem to have 2-4 week stays but I suspect mine will be longer. Just guessing. Bcoz I'm seeing pdoc in public system, he can only tell me what they wld do, which he's not very forthcoming about as I mentioned, I guess I rly need to speak to the pdoc that il b seeing in the private system to find out what will hapn.

I rly appreciate u praying for me, even tho ur not religious. I do pray, to God the Father,in Jesus name. That's how the Bible says to do it. I hope it's ok for me to say that. Not trying to push religion on anyone, just u mentioned that u wld pray so thought I wld share how I pray. I don't want to get in trouble for breaking any rules or overstepping any boundaries!

Yes it's the 5th the insurance kicks in. Whether I go in on that day or not I guess will depend on beds and if everything can be put in place in that time (see pdoc on Wednesday so I guess that's when hel do the referral).

Thanks for all ur support @Gazza75 , and thanks in advance for ur prayers. Ur a good pal.

Take care

Doglover