Teen mental health

Hi again Arween,

Just a quick note to see how you are doing. I think it's great that you have come onti these forums, even if just for a chat and to connect with like-minded people.

Let us know how you are doing.

PS - ARAFMI has offices in some states - what state are you in and we can direct you accordingly.

Hobbit.

Hi I'm feeling very up n down - think I am really stressed and at capacity - still waiting for family support from agency involved. We are in WA. I just feel exhausted repeating myself - so many issues with my daughter and her dad doesn't get it. I just can't keep all these balls in the air. Lost it at work and with my partner this week.

Hi @Arwen

I'm so glad that you came here tonight to vent your frustrations. You said a few messages ago that you are using this forum for yourself, rather than finding services for your daughter (which it seemes you're connected with). Djd you follow up with ARAFMI WA or any services for yourself?

Do you have time to yourself tonight?

Nik

Hi nik - Thankyou
Yeh I've calmed down a bit now - managed to watch a movie - gonna get some sleep now

Hi Arwen,

Thought I would send a quick note to see how you are going.

I see you are in WA. Here is ARAFMI WA's contact details. Heads up, I work for another ARAFMI, and I only ever hear really good things about ARAFMI WA!!

Let me know how you go.

Hobbit.

Thanks for that Hobbit - appreciate it. support from the family worker is due to start in the next week or two - will hopefully give my daughter a chance to work through the issues with her dad and give me some additional support. It's good to have the arafmi contact to hand tho.

Hi Arween,

How's things? Did you manage to make any contact with ARAFMI WA?

Hobbit.

Hi astrengthinever,

NikNik has just liked one of your posts!

Subject Re: Teen mental health
Date: 15-09-2014 06:21 PM
Hi Arwen I ore you post is almost 12 months old but I have just started joining this forum and you post struck a nerve with me. I am a single mum with a teen who has BPD. I struggled for years in finding support for myself and part of this was possibly because I was so bogged down in trying to cope with the crisis that comes with managing my daughter, I almost needed that support to be handed to me. Sadly it took effort on my part to seek it out, despite my constant visits with my daughter to emergency departments, inpatient units, psychiatrists and psychologists. I finally found Arafmi and from there a range of support services became available to me. Now during a period of calm and hopefully progress with my daughter, I have vowed that no other mother should have to go through the nightmare I did. I hope you have found the support you needed and if not please be assured there is support out there and there is light at the end of the tunnel.

Hi Arwen, I can totally relate to your situation as I am trying to support my 15 year old daughter who has high anxiety!! It really is heart breaking isn't it? My daughter has missed yet another couple of days of school because of her fears and anxieties and it is just soul destroying to witness and listen to her negative self talk !!!! I know exactly how you feel about not knowing who to turn too and in my case once I have finally organised support for my daughter.....getting her to agree to speak with a professional has been my next hurdle!! She is now due for her third session with a psychiatrist who only visits our town fortnightly but it's a start.....not that she says a heck of a lot to him and I always end up bring the one in tears. His advice to me is to just be there for her! Not shout back when she is screaming at me telling me how useless she is but to just listen. I teach full time and have a partner with schizophrenia and now my daughter with anxiety and panic attacks so my plate is quite full and I do feel guilty saying that as it is not about me!!! My time to myself is driving to the shop......the long way!!!!! I highly recommend it!! Feel free to chat to me anytime as I know how hard it is watching your own child struggle on a daily basis!

Hi attahua
I hear your frustration with your child. You certainly have your hands full with a patner with mental health issues as well. I am surprised you find any time for yourself. I struggle as a single mum and all though her dad and I tried very hard to both be there for her, his mental health issues took their toll on me so much so that even though we have been separated for over 16 years, he was becoming so dependent on me I was struggling to be there for our daughter. So I can only imagine how hard it must be for you.
I understand the difficulty of getting your daughter to utilize the appointments you make, but I guess they really have to be ready and willing to take the help that is offered. For so long my daughter would go to appointments I arranged and it seemed we were getting nowhere and like you it was me that would end up in tears spilling my guts. Something that changed for me though was I constantly reminded my daughter that it was her that was choosing to be there and her that she was making the choice to be there. Initially I had to take a huge leap of handing the entire process to her. She had to make the appointments, and if she needed help to get there she had to ask me. Basically I was giving her the control. In doing this for a bit of the time she did nothing but as I constantly reminded her she had the choice I was also sending a subliminal message that I believed in her to be capable of doing it. This was a huge loss of control on my part and really hard for me to do but it worked? I believe because she knew that I believed she was capable of doing it and in turn she then took the professionals advise and took the help he was offering. The old adage you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink, has a lot going for it.