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Something’s not right

I always feel embarrassed.

Eden1919Senior Contributor

I always feel embarrassed.

This is going to discuss some things about eating disorders so if that is going to be upsetting please dont read the rest (no intense details just around the topic)

Anyway sorry again for another thread but i always feel so incredibly embarrassed to have an eating disorder but to also be overweight. and even though like i know that actually there are more overweight people with eating disorders statistically than there are underweight people i still feel so so embarrassed about it like i am screwing another thing up. and i dont mean to say that people with ed's who are underweight are and better off it is just that i feel like if i ever tried to tell someone i had an ed they would just laugh in my face and say i was crazy, which is hard because i still have issues with eating around people amoung other things and i just feel like it is something i constantly have to hide even from professionals. and even all the main services are directed at people who are underweight like i literally have not found something in the entire counrty that seems to deal with people with eds who arent underweight. it is just like no one cares and everyone blames you and then even though it is ruining my life i dont deserve help because this must just be all my fault because i am fat and lazy. i just dont know how i am supposed to deal with this when everything i go to just says i am just lazy and need to exercise.

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In response to: I always feel embarrassed.

Eden1919Senior Contributor

Re: I always feel embarrassed.

@BlueBay The major hospitals in the state i am in do not have any eating disorder units the ONLY program in the entire state is 1 for teenagers in the community and the sate i was previously in also did NOT have a single eating disoder unit at all. and only had a community program which i applied to and was told they wouldnt take me because i was too complex. the closest one is still 8 hours away from me and it would have to be a private one because i am not a resident of that state. i really have looked into my options and i have been asking for years but everyone just turns me away and i honestly feel like this is affecting my physical health so badly at the moment but nobody cares and like i really do think it will eventually be what gets me. i just there is nothing left to do all i can do is cry at this point and even that i cant do because i just end up with a headache. i have tried so hard to get help with this issue but it just keeps getting ignored and i dont understand it is literally destryoing me but maybe i just really dont matter so no one cares enough. which is fine but i just wish if they werent going to help then they would stop having so many expectations of me. i am constantly tired and i just dont know what else i am meant to try i have been waiting to see a private psychologist for 6 months already and it will be at least another month and i just dont get what else i am meant to do.

In response to: Re: I always feel embarrassed.

BlueBaySenior Contributor

Re: I always feel embarrassed.

@Eden1919 I feel for you. Hopefully this new psychologist thst you’re waiting to see will be able to help you.

❤️

In response to: Re: I always feel embarrassed.

Eden1919Senior Contributor

Re: I always feel embarrassed.

@BlueBay i really hope so to i am at my witts end with this.

In response to: Re: I always feel embarrassed.

outlanderSenior Contributor

Re: I always feel embarrassed.

@Eden1919 it sounds like your doing everything you can. just keep taking it one day at a time. hopefully an appointment comes up soon for your new psychologist
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