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Better support

Met1Contributor14 June 2019, 10:56 pm AEST

Better support

Hi guys, I’m new to this forum & also my partner has just be diagnosed with BPD. She’s waiting for her DBT course to start. I’m struggling to understand what’s going on when her moods change & I don’t handle it the way I should & then push each other away..more so me say it’s all to hard but then I take some time out & work out how to improve the situation that leads us to just about quitting. Any advice would be much appreciate 🙂

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In response to: Better support

BunniekinsSenior Contributor15 June 2019, 5:27 am AEST

Re: Better support

@Met1 Hey Met1 and welcome to the forum 😄 one day at a time my friend. Read up on every bpd and take baby steps with lots of time out for yourself (you will need it as a carer). We are a friendly bunch of formites here so feel free to look around the forum at the various threads and join in when you feel ready. Again take good care of yourself too. greenpeax:)

In response to: Better support

Ali11Senior Contributor15 June 2019, 8:58 am AEST

Re: Better support

Hey @Met1. Welcome to the forums and sorry to hear you are struggling to understand what is going on when your partner's moods change. This must be really difficult and confusing for you. Is this something you would be comfortable talking with your partner about?

In response to: Re: Better support

Met1Contributor15 June 2019, 9:27 am AEST

Re: Better support

Thanks for the encouraging words @Bunniekins & definitely will be reading as much as I can to educate myself.

In response to: Re: Better support

Met1Contributor15 June 2019, 9:43 am AEST

Re: Better support

Thanks Ali11,

BPD being new to both of us we are really starting to communicate a lot better since ready up. Before my partner was diagnose we had a tough couple of years because of issues going on with BPD. Me not know what to do & get frustrated then tell her this is all to hard & tell her it’s over which wouldn’t be helping her BPD....it’s a vicious circle.

In response to: Re: Better support

outlanderSenior Contributor15 June 2019, 10:01 am AEST

Re: Better support

hi @Met1 and welcome
If you put an @ at the start of the members name itll tag them so theyll get a notification.

I have BPD myself so can relate to some of what your partner experiences. communication is something i find really tricky but im glad your getting better at it with your partner.

@Sans911 and @BlueBay are 2 other lovely members i know that have BPD and may be able to offer some advice as well.

Im also wondering if you would like to start a thread on the 'Carers' side, there are many members who have partners with BPD who could offer some advice however they dont travel onto the Lived Experience section. Just a thought so you can get some support from those members too 🙂

In response to: Re: Better support

Met1Contributor15 June 2019, 9:33 pm AEST

Re: Better support

Thanks for the heads up @outlander

I’m going to also join the carers group as that will be another great forum

In response to: Re: Better support

Ali11Senior Contributor16 June 2019, 9:15 am AEST

Re: Better support

Hi @Met1, we've moved this over to the Carer's forum so that people who have experience with caring for those with BPD can jump in and help out. Have you found the SANE fact sheet on BPD and DBT therapy? You can find them here - Borderline personality disorder (BPD) / Dialectical behaviour therapy (DBT)

In response to: Re: Better support

Met1Contributor16 June 2019, 12:35 pm AEST

Re: Better support

Thanks @Ali11.

I’ve checked it out & my partner is waiting to start DBT course which will be encouraging.

In response to: Re: Better support

Ali11Senior Contributor16 June 2019, 12:39 pm AEST

Re: Better support

That's great to hear @Met1. How are you personally going? Don't forget that self-care for yourself is important, be sure to take 5-10 minutes a day to check in with how you are feeling.

In response to: Re: Better support

Met1Contributor16 June 2019, 1:05 pm AEST

Re: Better support

I’m doing ok @Ali11 thanks just more confusion than anything because she is convinced she not good enough for me even though I tell her she’s perfect in every way but just won’t believe me. I’ve never been a guy to compliment my partner a lot of the time but I think she needs that & needs constant reassurance that I’m not gonna go anywhere. Which is hard & also time consuming due to our busy life.

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Aboriginal flag

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.