I'm really struggling today

Hi @RasberryCupcake

Dont think we have chatted before.

Sometimes it is good to talk more about things, and others its good just to put it out there.

If you are up to being social they have an event most Fridays called Friday Feast or FF to regulars.

I love raspberries.

Not savvy about getting links sorted but if you type into your search bar ....

Hi @Appleblossom ,

Thanks for your message. I really appreciate it. I hope you are feeling better than you did the other day. 🙂

No, I don't feel up to anything social just right now - but thanks I will search the links. I miss the old me .. I used to have friends, socialise a lot and had a lot of fun in my life, but for the past few years, I am exactly where I am now .. lonely and isolated. Its such a horrible feeling. I wouldn't wish it upon any body.

We've never spoken because I have only recently joined this forum. And, I'm not even sure whether it's good for me or not just yet, as it feels kinds foreign to me..But I'm not sure where else I can turn to, who I can talk to. I sometimes ask why I'm even still living - I have nothing to look forward to, nothing interesting or exciting to do.

I just wish my life would turn around somehow.

Hey @RasberryCupcake. Sorry to hear you are struggling really badly today. It's really difficult when feeling lost in our own sadness but you've opened up here and allowed others to sit with you in these feelings. Sharing our pain is a good thing.

You have mentioned before that you're tired of the people you meet and the ones in your life, feeling as if you are stuck in second gear must also feel frustrating. Is there anything in particular that makes you feel that way?

Keep sharing with us @RasberryCupcake. We get how tough it is.

Sometimes being isolated and lonely is the pits @RasberryCupcake

but solo time can also be a time to work out who we are .... what our priorities are ...

start new projects or directions ...

being social isnt all its cracked up to be ....maybe feels harder when we have been out of the swing of it.

Hey @Ali11 ,

How are you? I hope you are well. Yes, many things have happened in my life, and they're extremely painful for me. I have suffered deep, severe depression and anxiety now for 2.5 years now .. and since I've recently encountered a team of medical & health professionals, my depression has gotten to the point where I feel very suicidal.

I'm one of a twin and my sister is a narcissist. She's a horrible and evil person and she likes to bully me just for fun. She would do really horrible things to me like belittle me, puts me down, defame my good character to people we know and interferes in my relationships.. in all my relationships. She turned my ex against me, my mother and my entire family against me. My friends and just about everyone we know. I now have no friends. And, recently, she and my mother called the CAT team on me for no real reason. I had to endure them pestering me for a few weeks, and now I'm psychologically damaged. I'm more depressed and anxious than ever.

Thanks @Appleblossom , I know what you're saying ... being isolated really put things into perspective. It seems like when I'm happy or trying to have a really good crack at getting myself back on track, there's always someone pulling me back down - just feel like I cant get a break. I honestly just live my life and try as hard as I can to build myself back up, but I get treated like crap by everyone. I havent done anything wrong to anybody. I don't deserve this at all.

@RasberryCupcake That sounds like a problem of not enough space and your boundaries disrespected by your twinsister. It is horrible when that happens with a person who is supposed to be close and understanding.

@Appleblossom , it has been a real struggle to say the least. I had not only try 'get over' what she did, but come to the realisation what a person she's become. All awhile, I had to pick up the pieces and try to mend my lil' heart to somehow get over my ex, I had my mother to contend with & her husband .. and, I had to try work out what the hell were wrong with my brother and his wife, why they wouldn't answer my calls or texts. And, on top of that, I didn't understand why my friends were either distancing themselves or simply didn't want anything to do with me!! My head was and still is completely done in!! If that wasn't enough, I have now got these people who were supposed to 'help' me to fight with. I question what have I done wrong in my past life to deserve this. Surely, it'll have to end soon.

@RasberryCupcake

That would very distressing and enough to drive anyone over the edge.

Are you living in the same house?

Are the CAT team more of their doing than yours?

Sorry dont answer questions of you dont want to.

@Ali11 and the Sane chatline may have some ideas for extra support.

@Appleblossom , yea I do feel as if i'm on edge .. at times, I really don't know how to hadle things, at times I really feel as if I am going 'crazy'. But I know that I'm not. I'm perfectly sane. I'm just a person with severe depression and anxiety. I've been most anxious lately. I've been having night terrors and wake up in a sweat, gasping for air. I keep thinking that the CAT people are in my home.

To answer your question, I'm still living in mum & dad's home, yes. I have no money to move out. I have recently applied for austudy but I'm afraid that that won't be enough for me to survive when I do move out. I'm really scared about that, too. I desperately need to leave here and get my own space, for my mental health. My resume is stuffed, I can't get a job either. I cry all the time thinking what a big loser I am.

Are the Cat team more of their doing or mine? I have absolutely no idea why they were even 'treating' me in the first place?!! There were no crissis nor any violence towards anyone.. All I know was that they wanted to offer their services, which I refused on many occassions. But they wouldn't leave me alone. They came 'round everyday till I met them. I did nothing wrong. They have falsified my health record, saying that I was violent and caused damage to property. I asked, who's property?

I'm their victim.