burnout

Self care @outlander ....

Earphones and music

Paint your nails

Hot shower

Tea

Call a friend, talk about anything else

Art

Craft

Dance

Go for a drive

Watch a movie

Go for a walk

Sit outside with a cup of tea

Tidy something

Sleep

Take your caree and go visiting, or to a coffee shop (other people around)

Dig in the garden

Can’t stay just now @outlander ..... working on an assignment and was taking a break.

Hi @outlander

sorry to hear you are burned out - I can really empathise .. when I was burnt out there was a couple of saving graces that got me through - however the main one was to think of something you value or enjoy or is self care for you - like reading a favourite book or having a massage or going for a walk alone - and the trick was to make sure you got some of that activity in during your day even if it’s only for a very short time - so 3 minutes of reading is better than none - one walk around the oval is better than none - a 15 min neck and shoulders massage at the plaza is better than none - fully concentrate and be present in that self care time - for me that was every Friday night was my night to watch tv as late as I wanted and whatever I wanted ... sometimes it was reading 5 pages of a favourite book each day - or going to the plaza and walking around to feel normal and free - I think the point is that I used to not do anything for myself thinking because I couldn’t a one hour I’d do nothing or because I couldn’t spend an hour reading I’d read nothing - doing just a little bit of something that you value just for you is incredibly powerful and soooo important - you must care for yourself as life is too short and you are important and must keep your ‘I enjoy living’ battery charged up ... hope this makes sense ... just a few moments of concentrated me time can change the experience of an entire day

I love you "I enjoy living battery" @Sophie1 I think may use it in conversation.

@outlander Distraction and rest are both important, but I am wondering if you are over involved and stretching yourself more than you need?. How do we know? For me its an ever present and ongoing process.

Its a very blurry line ...

That your pop came home late was worrying, but it is also a good sign that he got out, and managed himself enough to get home too.

Micro-managing does not always help or is the biggest sign of love. So talking about the levels of care with others who know him may help.

A lot depends on how serious his dementia is, and which particular things are a worry.

As a young carer, it is really important to know

1) it is your home and your needs matter too.

2) some of his deterioration is unavoidable and its not all up to you.

Take Care of you and Hugs

@Appleblossom ^^

@outlander Awww outlander I am not good to ask with this as I tend to do very destructive things like take risks as in risky behaviour ..... which I won't go into as I don't want to set you off in case you are feeling that way. I just hope that someone can give you calming ideas on how to cope and not self destructive ones which are the ones which I would offer which are not good for our outlander. Take good care of yourself love greenpea xxxxx

We're sorry to hear that you are feeling burnt out @outlander. This is a great question to ask. It typically happens when you are stretching yourself too thinly and often neglect your own needs - i.e burning the candle at both ends. @Sophie1 puts it beautifully when describing yourself as a battery, you need to make sure that there's time for you in each day so that you can recharge your battery (otherwise it will go flat). It doesn't have to be anything extravagant, it can mean taking a nap because you need to, sitting outside drinking tea/coffee by yourself, enjoying a hobby etc.

Are you able to set aside an hour a day to "recharge"?

Boundaries necessary too @outlander , when hobbies become a chore it can indicate one has taken on too much.

I think at times as carers we take on responsibilities that are not ours to shoulder.