Topic Tuesday // Being a male in a caring role // Tues 25 June, 7pm AEST

@MrDad I find talking about our issues here so much easier than even with professionals as I feel like I am betraying my darling even if disclosures are for her benefit . I see a certain stigma about running down a spouse as I have seen extended family talking about wives in a mocking way so really sensitive to protecting and uplifting my wife. The anonymous side of the forums has helped with this. And talking whit people with similar emotions me And I don't have to explain or justify all the time. (Although I still did that a lot when I first started here through guilt).

Hey @MDT

So we are talking about males who care for their loved ones with whatever situation their loved one may have. There are some interesting challenges for males who are perhaps a carer of a loved one around their identity and ways to talk about that with others. You will see some interesting conversation happening here. If you pop to the first page, you will see @Greg_MenCareToo's intro where he mentions more about the work he does in personal life and out in the community. This isn't so much about qualification, but about being a supporter for someone in your family that has a chronic health issue- if that helps clarify!

@MDT care for a family member, no qualifications needed just motivation to ensure they have a good quality of life

‘What do you do for work’ is generally the first question blokes will ask each other, I guess because it gives a bit of an insight into the person and what we might have in common.

When I used to get asked this I’d feel anxious and probably a bit embarrassed because I didn’t know how to respond. I had left work and study to care and whilst I knew that my caring role was significant, I had it in my head that others would judge me for not being employed given that I was a capable young man.

Learning about how many other blokes were in caring roles helped me feel less like the odd one out and instead proud that I was part of a large number of Aussie men contributing to society in our own unique way.

In many traditional cultures (including our Indigenous), a young boy (or girl) are taught and supported by adult relatives of the same sex. Children are taught duties and responsibilities, but doable and supported ones.

It takes a village to raise a child. We have lost that in the modern society. Time to rebuild this thinking.

@Former-Member this is something I have always been uber sensitive about. I initially started further studies at university to get me out of the house as I felt myself sinking but this came with the added bonus of having something to talk about when asked what do I do. Now through volunteering around campus I have gained some part time work at the uni that has more emotional than financial benefits. That work is super flexible which has made it viable.

This has been most beneficial as I do feel deflated when people ask all the time and wonder how we manage financially.

@MrDad I often hear partners and people being cared for talk about how happy they are to see the person who cares for them enjoy their own time and hobbies.

---

@Greg_MenCareToo wrote:

@MrDad I often hear partners and people being cared for talk about how happy they are to see the person who cares for them enjoy their own time and hobbies.

---

@Greg_MenCareToo

Unfortunately for me it is often when I am content or doing something for myself that my darling falls apart. I believe this may have something to do with fear of rejection/ being left or deserted ?

Thankfully and surprisingly though she supported me getting my motorbike.