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My beautiful son

My beautiful son

Hi,<br><br>My eldest son who is 19 recently spent a month in hospital after experiencing first episode psychosis. He also has aspergers which was never formally diagnosed but was confirmed by his treating psychs. The story of how he went to hospital is one for another day but it did help him. Mostly he doesn't think so and I can understand that. His psychosis wasn't drug related. Anyway he seemed very down today and this evening I asked him what was wrong and he said he didn't want to talk about it. I made some dumb jokes and encouraged him to talk to me. Thankfully he did. He said he didn't feel right like he was too light in his own body - like he wasn't grounded. He then told me he hadn't been taking his meds for 5 days. That means he stopped taking them the day his nurse came to visit. I had an inkling that the visit had made him feel crappy because his medication was discussed among many other things. Anyway he was afraid that the medicine would alter his brain forever or ruin it. But he said he didn't feel normal and he thought it was because he's been taking this medicine plus everything he's been given in hospital too. In hospital he was involuntary but on discharge he was voluntary. He was originally coming home on monthly injections as involuntary but that changed because the injection affected negatively and he asked for a certain other medicine instead and he seemed to have gained some insight. I was happy for him that he was able to responsible for his own health but also wary that he may not take medicine once he was feeling well because he would believe that he didn't need it. So he had been much much better and the visit seemed to help him decide he didn't need the meds anymore. He's only been home for around five weeks the injection would be wearing off now and he hadn't been taking his pill which is 2.5mg of an antipsychotic medication. Even though he's told me many times it helps him to think more clearly. I know he's not taken it a few times here and there but then decided to take it again. This time was the longest though. We talked and I promised him he would feel better if he took it. I managed to convince him and he took it. Thankfully he felt much better after a little while and said to me a few times mum thanks for helping me. I love this child so much. My question to everyone is how do I help him to realize or understand that the meds are helping and aren't meant to be damaging. He knows they help him he's told me himself but why does he change his mind. I don't want him to become unwell or have to go to hospital again. I don't police his medication but I do encourage him to stick with it - his Drs told me the outlook for him is very good especially if he follows the plan. I was told there would be all kinds of support and there is but it's a lot slower and less than I believed. He only sees the psych once a month and the nurse didn't turn up for 3 weeks so I rang to find out what was going on. I just want the best for him and at times I feel ill equipped to do what it takes. Thanks for listening. 😕

27 replies

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In response to: My beautiful son

Re: My beautiful son

Just going day by day. My son has seemed to have gone back a few steps 😞 Unfortunately. Been told this is not unusual but it's hard to watch and it feel responsible. He's mostly ok but there seems to be some disconnect somewhere. He's on no meds as he'd stopped taking them. His anxiety seems worse - he's not in as bad way as he was a year ago which is good. He had an outburst the other night 😞 seems ok today but doesn't talk to me as much as when he was really well. He's avoiding all appointments and going anywhere especially in the daytime. Not taking care of himself as much and a few other things which definitely aren't helping him. So yeah I'm pretty worried. His case worker/OT is coming out tomorrow whether he tries to cancel or not which is a good thing as maybe if he talks with her he will feel better. I just carry on being here for him and being supportive though the other night was hard as he was yelling and swearing at me 😞
Apart from that we've moved house and my husband is on nights so generally stressfully 😜
I just focus on all the positives and I've started study which is something I enjoy though I'm nervous about the assessments hahahaha

Nice to chat with you 🌻💕

I'm sorry to hear about your husband 😞 I don't know about you but I went through feeling angry at mental illness which I know is stupid. I mean you can't be angry at the person they didn't ask to be unwell.

The new house is nice but man moving is really yuk! I'm failing a bit in the self care department how about you?

As tomorrow is Friday I'll wish you a happy weekend in case I don't get back xoxo 😘

In response to: My beautiful son

Re: My beautiful son

@Skylark

Happy to join you in a collective curse against mental illness. After which, can I suggest we indulge in some self care.

What are you studying?

Darcy

In response to: Re: My beautiful son

Re: My beautiful son

Hi @Skylark .... my Son 2 is in a similar state to yours. He is wearing a brunt of my Wayward Husband's control issues, and as a result is depressed, but not wanting to be part of WH's story, and not wanting to seek help. He has only been to one Uni class this semester so far - definite social anxiety set in - and is rarely surfacing from the house, or even his room for anything. His personally hygiene has fallen down to very sloppy. He is struggling to complete Uni assignments, and is submitting too late to pass them, even though the content is both totally doable or him, and enjoyable in his parallel universe .....

I am gently pressing him to see the family dr, especially as WH is back again from overseas next week, and all hell will break loose when he finds that this is what has been going on for the last 7 weeks, especially as I haven't told him .... he and his mother (who he has become emotionally dependent on, and her on him) are referring to the kids and myself as lazy, being unable to recognise or understand how or why we would all be suffering situational depression .... and the "laziness" is the associated inertia.

I have endeavoured to keep what I refer to as "scaffolding" in place over the kids and myself. This may help with your son, although it might be happening under his counsellor anyway .... but it might help you.

Some form of "wash" every 24 hours, or 48 at the max - wet wipes, sponge bath, soap up and rinse off, swim, or fully-fledged shower.

Clean teeth at least once a day.

Leave the house at least twice a week.

Make a phone call at least twice a week.

Try to keep to regular commitments like piano lessons, but also things like church, and try not to move appointments out of your way or miss them.

Eat regular meals at meal times, or at least within a two hour span of a meal time.

Try to keep sleep in the night hours, and only allow yourself up to a two hour sleep during the day. If you can't sleep at night, find ways to rest quietly with the lights dimmed.

We are limping along like this until we can deal with the big guy at the centre of it all.

🌷💕

In response to: My beautiful son

Re: My beautiful son

I can fully understand, I can't seem to get appointments for my son often enough to help! He really needs to see someone once a week at least to benefit,but it's so difficult.All we can do is love and support them.

In response to: Re: My beautiful son

Re: My beautiful son

@Skylark, @Faith-and-Hope, @Darcy, @Louise, @Bandit1, @Mohill, @patientpatient

What a journey we're on!. We could just merge our stories together into one complex battle with MI.

I wish you all the strength in your supportive caring rolls.

I am waiting for my son to get up, but he is fully medicated and sleeps a lot to give his mind the rest he needs for an upcoming overseas trip.

I didn't even know I was a carer, when he was growing up with ADHD, OCD, and depression. I thought if I give him all the support now, in his teenage years, he will continue to reach out and look after himself when he is older.

However, he is nearly 23 now, and still needs me. I take time off work to take him to his appointments, take him to the local swimming pool as he like sitting in the spa bath, (me too 🙂 and cook for him.

As soon as I come home from work, we go for a walk. The rest of the day he is either sleeping, smoking or staring into nothingness.

Maybe once a month he does his own washing, but I have to help him fold it away.

He has his first 4 week hospital treatment June 2016 and we just been through another psychosis as he wanted his meds reduced in November 2016. I have taken time off work to be with him, and rang every agency in the hood to come and see him, so I can go back to work.

Someone came, signed him up for recovery work, then next day he cancelled it, then rang her later in the day to say he wanted to go ahead anyway.

He has seen his Psych this week, and his meds were increased.

There is so much going on in their minds, it must be so darn frustrating to live a life in chaos. The alternative, it seems, is medicate and sleep a lot.

I hope the organisation he has reached out for will support his Recovery, as I cannot do it on my own.

Look after yourselves.

In response to: My beautiful son

Re: My beautiful son

You too @Grasshopper3 ..... 💐🤗💕

In response to: Re: My beautiful son

Re: My beautiful son

@Skylark

how are things with you?

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