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Something’s not right

Really struggling

Really struggling

I am really not coping with things at all at the moment. I am not able to manage my eating issues at all, I can't sleep, I am not keeping up with uni, I feel really horrible and agitated, i am in physical pain and I keep bursting into tears both randomly and at small things. I saw a gp today and it went horribly i started crying and he kept telling me how i wasnt trying hard enough and how doing all these things he wanted me to do was easy and i just had to do it because i need to get out of the hole i put myself in. all i could think was dont you realize how much i am trying, cant you see how exhausted i am, cant you see i am falling appart here. but he just looked at me like i was the laziest most pathetic excuse for a human and i just stopped talking and nodded until he said i could go and then when he tried to insist i do something with the recption as soon as he left i started crying again and just kept asking to pay and leave and then on the way back to the car i started crying and shaking and i had to wait before i could drive back and as soon as i parked i cried again and then kept crying for another 3 hours. i dont understand all i asked for was time to complete the 10 things he wanted me to do. he knows i am studying full time and that is is right before exams i dont get what i did wrong. to add to it i had other things i neede to see a gp about and he would listen to anything i tried to say he would just cut me off. i dont get it i am trying as hard as i can to the point it is making me physically sick. all i do is things other people want me to do so that they feel better. i dont ask for things from people i am always there when they need me but i am so tired. and i am in pain eveything HURTS. i dont even know that i want to exist in the first place.

and to add to the problem i feel like i cant trust anyone so i cant talk to anyone about details because i dont trust people enough that they wont put me back in the horrible place. i just really dont know what i am supposed to do anymore i am really not coping i am all alone i have no supports and i am exhausted. i am not going to do anything unsafe but sometimes i think i will just pass out and wont wake up.

20 replies

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In response to: Really struggling

Re: Really struggling

Im sorry @Eden1919 . I used to be exactly the same. And the only reason why it's used to be, and not still current, is bcoz i pushed myself so hard - at work especially but also at home and in relationships and being everything to everybody that now i am basically stuffed! My life has been destroyed my MI that is not controlled and basically im now no good for anything. I guess thats not a very positive and uplifting response, but i just dont want to see the same thing happen to you. Take care.

In response to: Really struggling

Re: Really struggling

Sorry you are doing it so tough. I really wish there was more that i could offer you in regard to support but i am also doing it super super tough at the moment and can really identify with your last post. MI just sucks and thats all there is to it, especially when its not well managed.

In response to: Really struggling

Re: Really struggling

@Eden1919You could get extensions if you need to- there is support for you. What are you studying? Little by little you will get there. I hope you sleep well tonight. Btw thanks for checking in.

In response to: Really struggling

Re: Really struggling

hi @Eden1919 sorry to hear things are so tough for you at the moment and you're facing so much stress from so many directions. Hang in there, you're not alone like the others said. Hope you got some sleep last night.

In response to: Re: Really struggling

Re: Really struggling

@oceangirl I have already been given multiple extensions for pretty much everything the disability support people have already said there is nothing else they can do. i have run out of avaliable support.

@BryanaCamp still not sleeping 😞

@Doglover it really does suck.

thanks everyone.

In response to: Re: Really struggling

Re: Really struggling

@Eden1919You can always talk to your lecturers directly. Look after yourself and try to do as much as you can- that is all you can do. Good luck with the remaining coursework, assignments and exams. Check back in when you can. Will be thinking of you and wishing you all the best.

In response to: Re: Really struggling

Re: Really struggling

@oceangirl I have already spoken to my leturers directly there is actually nothing left like i am not saying that because i feel hopeless there is nothing anyone can do things have to be in by the end of the week as that is the end of semester i have had extensions i have had extra time i have spoken to the support services but they have done all they can. i dont mean to sound harsh or anything i do appreciate your reply but perhaps i have been to vague in my replies and i have confused the situation. thanks again.

i am exhausted but also buzzing and my head wont sleep but my body is tired and i think i am getting sick which is the not what i need right now i am absolutely useless when i am sick and cant get anything done. i really dont need this right now. i am so ugh i cant even explain it there are not words in this language or any other that i know of and i just want to scream i am supposed to have tomorrow off the study but i will have so mny other things to do as well. who decided adults should have to live like this? why is it that everyone except the top 10% has to work their butts off until they are physically and mentally exhausted just to survive. i am honestly so sick of this crappy system it is desgined to keep some at the top and some at the bottom why cant we just protect our enviroment and share our resources so everyone can just not have such stressful lives.

In response to: Re: Really struggling

Re: Really struggling

Thinking of u @Eden1919 , sorry ur having such a tough time of it. Wish there was some greaat words of wisdom or advice that i could offer you but theres not. Just that my thoughts are with you and am wishing u all the very best. Take care.

In response to: Re: Really struggling

Re: Really struggling

@Eden1919All good. I was just suggesting things that have helped me, whilst I was at university. I want to see you do well. Good luck with your assessments. Check back in when you can. Keep going hon.

In response to: Re: Really struggling

Re: Really struggling

@Doglover @oceangirl thank you both. i am still struggling to get things done and i am still exhausted but i just cant sleep either i dont know what to do. i am just getting really fed up with everything. it is hard i know university is designed to be difficult but i also really think that isnt right why force people to be struggling constantly when you could just teach them what they need to know without all the pressure like yes some assessment is neccecary but not this much and not in th amount of time they allow it really is just a way to discourage people so that the elites stay that way. oh well such is the result of a capitalist society. i just think life is hard enough why make it even harder.

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