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Surviving Psychosis

Surviving Psychosis

I’m not going to tag anyone in my post as I don’t want anyone to feel pressured to reply.

I really thought I was going to be trapped in my dark world forever this time. I am still in hospital but now am recovering from my latest bout of psychosis. I’ve been accused of falsifying symptoms when I wasn’t (which led me into a depression). I was flat out labelled as “crazy” by my treating psychiatrist and forgotten by friends back in the real world outside my private hell.

I hear a voice literally scream at me and command me to complete suicide so “I will be a martyr and everyone will chant my name”. How can anyone make that up? Just because I’m not religious doesn’t mean I don’t hear what I hear! I have nurses comment that I am doing a lot better than when I was admitted. I have a tattoo I got done in the heat of the moment and while beautiful, I feel I should have waited until fully recovered before getting inked. So much has happened in a few short weeks.

I have no idea what is going to happen next. I’m on tenterhooks.

My diagnosis is no longer schizoaffective. Officially I have paranoid schizophrenia with mixed mood disorder and generalised anxiety disorder. Gawd, what a mouthful!

26 replies

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In response to: Surviving Psychosis

Re: Surviving Psychosis

Hello everyone following my saga, tonight I’m a broken woman. My wife and my psychiatrist have decided to tell me to “be realistic” and forget about university and my dreams of being a social worker. They said to spend my time pursuing art and hobbies rather than the impossible and to just accept I’ll never work again. I’m really upset 😢 and just feel like giving up. Is my whole life a stupid delusion?

Google ‘the impossible’ by Robbie Williams. Pretty well sums up my situation.

In response to: Re: Surviving Psychosis

Re: Surviving Psychosis

Well it seems nobody in rl cares. I approached the staff about my situation only to be totally ignored. 😥😓😪

I feel like such a waste.

In response to: Re: Surviving Psychosis

Re: Surviving Psychosis

Don't give up your dreams. You can achieve them, even if it takes longer than you hope, if you keep holding onto them, then you can fulfil them.

I was told that I wouldn't be able go back to study, but eventually after 4 false starts, and 6 years, I'm finally achieving my goals of studying Law.

Sending you all of the love, and strength in the universe. Xxxx

In response to: Re: Surviving Psychosis

Re: Surviving Psychosis

Don't give up your dreams @Queenie , you have come soo far my friend

sending you lots of tender hugs

I'm finally achieving my goals of studying Law.-- way to go @-xlilithx-

Hello @Gazza75 , @GeminiLion , @Bunniekins , @frog , @Appleblossom

heyyyy @ideaslady

In response to: Re: Surviving Psychosis

Re: Surviving Psychosis

@Queenie Oh Queenie I have been told exactly the same thing .... I feel like a imbascile .....but I get it at the same time. My brain, mind whatever cannot handle the stress of studying and working ..... I need peace in my life to function otherwise I become a not very pleasant person to be around and that is the truth I get it. I don't like it though.

In response to: Re: Surviving Psychosis

Re: Surviving Psychosis

https://youtu.be/i7RSF0CZNsc

This says it all. I refuse to lay down and just give up.

In response to: Re: Surviving Psychosis

Re: Surviving Psychosis

@Shaz51- Hello, i hope your having a good day. It seems like winter is knocking on the door today. I'm rugged up like a snowman LOL

@Bunniekins- It sounds like you have found the right balance in your life. I could do with less of the work, but, i imagine thats the complain of most people working full time 🙂

@Queenie- I wouldn't give up on your dreams of being a social worker. You are someone well qualified and a great help to people facing diffucuilt times. You seem very compassionate and kind and that goes a long way when people are reaching out for help. As they say a little goes a long way somtimes.

When I was hospitalised there was only 1 social worker and maybe 2 or 3 workers out of a pretty large crew that seemed to geniunely care about the patients well being or welfare. The rest just went through the motions of providing care with the minimal of effort and fuss.

In response to: Re: Surviving Psychosis

Re: Surviving Psychosis

Well folks I’m still in the hospital. I have a discharge day though, Friday week. I’m saddened that I will not be able to have a nice night with my Mrs for our anniversary on June 3. I feel like I’m constantly letting her down because of my mental health.

I’m stoked on the other hand, as I finally have a discharge date!

In response to: Re: Surviving Psychosis

Re: Surviving Psychosis

@Queenie- Awesome that you have a date. I'm sure the Mrs will understand and you can celebrate anyway. 🙂 You'll have to do some making up !

Take care

In response to: Re: Surviving Psychosis

Re: Surviving Psychosis

I'm rugged up like a snowman, that is an interesting image @Gazza75

Awesome that you have a date. @Queenie and I agree with @Gazza75 that Mrs will understand and you can celebrate anyway

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