Newbie looking for support

I am in the same boat. You are not alone.

Thank you

@outlander At this stage, I don't have supports in place. I am going to my GP's soon. I haven't been diagnosed as such at this stage, but due to past trauma in my childhood and actually understanding that I seem to be the one never to fit in, as well as other things that have happened along my journey in life. Have had to admit to myself that I need to work with someone to manage my extreme emotions

hi @confusedbpd welcome to the forums

I'm in my mid forties too but I'm unemployed & have been for 7 years due to my mental illness. So at least you have a job, that's a big plus.

I found medication helped with my extreme emotions, I suffer from rage and very strong impulses to burn bridges when I feel invalidated or offended. which is the last thing I need as I am very lonely & can't afford to burn bridges.

Hopefully your GP can refer you to some useful supports and you can try some different treatment methods & find something that works for you.

I have worked really hard for the past 2 years to establish and maintain a group of friends and bonds with family. It has been extremely hard work and problems still come up with my relationships but my life is now so much better that I have friends and family, I fit in more & have people who care about me. If I can do it I'm sure you can too as I was the most isolated person I ever met. It just takes trial & error and a lot of hard work.

I'm sure things will improve for you in the future.

@BryanaCamp I have burnt many bridges over the years with friends and not have many family members in my life.

I do struggle to keep working part-time is best for me as I can feel the rage build up and my inner voice tells me to stay calm. Not an easy task at all. I do take medication for depression but I really do hope there are other options out there for me.

U am glad to hear that you have been able to build relationships with family and friends

@outlander I have read up on ptsd, but am still convinced with the things I have done over the years and the way I perceive things bpd fits.

I woul also think it runs in my family as I can see similarities with others from my past and all find it very easy to cut people out of our lives.

ok @confusedbpd
i really hope you get some answers soon,
a suggested therapy for bpd and for those who struggle to manage their emotions is called Dialectable Behaviour Therapy (DBT) and you can do quite abit of self help stuff while on a waiting list.
we do have a dbt thread here as well that im sure others would be ok helping with as well if you were interested.

and also The BPD Foundation has some good resources as well to have a look at