Meeting a girl friend when you have mental illness

Sounds to me like a gorgeous opportunity. Maybe this is the worlds way of telling you to focus your attention on yourself for a while. I think people are at there most beautiful when they're doing what they love and becoming passionate about the things that interest them. You sound like you've been through a lot, it might be nice to just explore the world. In my opinion the best way to find a relationship is through yourself. If you're really enjoying your surrounds there is a good chance you'll meet some great people. I must admit, it can be complicated to find someone who understands you and your illness. Understanding people do exist though. I think the right person will come along. It might be hard but if they're right for you then they will understand. I think you could benefit from a woman who will be able to really listen to you. Sometimes people don't need to understand to be able to comfort you and support you. They do need to be understanding and willing to listen though. I think more than it's about your mental illness it's about finding the right girl for you. I don't have much insight into relationships, but I hope you can find some comfort in what I've said. I'm honestly just rambling.

Thank very much for the comforting words, I really appreaciate it.

I totally understand that it's important to enjoy the world, but I have been doing that for 9 years now.

I have travelled the world and I'm always meeting new people.

But have been single for 9 years now, I am really starting to get sick of it.

But yeah you are right, I suppose the right one will come along some day 🙂

Hi @Willstar,

I am no expert on dating; I'm just an average woman who was fortunate enough to finally meet a wonderful man and get married at 42 years of age. I thought my turn would never come. I only ever got myself into bad relationships with men who did not care about me, that is until I finally met my husband.

If you are meeting plenty of strangers to have one night stands with, then you obviously have no trouble in actually meeting women. Women must find you attractive, so that is a great start. I know a lot of men would like to be out there going to bed with heaps of different women, but they find this impossible to achieve, as women just aren't attracted to them!

So I think you are off to a great start. It might be fear that is holding you back. I can understand this. I too, was fearful of having to open up and reveal my inner self - especially since I thought my inner self was hugely flawed.

But you don't have to reveal everything on the first date. You can start with small things and work your way forwards from there. When you meet the right one, she will not be scared off- she will be interested in what you have to say.

I believe it comes down to meeting someone who is absolutely ready to commit to a relationship. There are plenty of people out there who are good, kind, nice people at heart, but unfortunately they are not ready to settle down- they only want to have fun and then more on to the next experience. So if you meet one of these women, then even if you are very compatible, it still might not work out, because they are simply not ready.

I wonder have you tried internet dating? At least that way you are able to put into words exactly what you are looking for up front. You can write that you want to settle down and commit and that you are only looking for something serious. This might filter out all the women that only want to have fun, but of course there are no guarantees. I am thinking of some of the more reputable internet sites - the ones that try to match you with someone compatible, not just someone who looks good in their photo!

Other than that, I would say that we all have our faults, so try not to focus too much on having a mental illness. I think the experience you had with your previous girlfriend is still playing on your mind. My guess is that she told everyone about your illness just to make herself feel blameless in the break-up. If she could continually claim that you had mental health problems, then in her her mind it probably absolved her of any wrong-doing in breaking up with you. It seems very cruel to me, and I doubt people would have thought badly about you because of her words. If anything, they may have thought she was very indiscreet.