SCARED SHITLESS - to be or not to be? Your experience is asked for.

Welcome @renlucy

Congratulations!

One thing I do know from my recent reading on the subject is that already having either a diagnosis of depression, or even symptoms of depression makes you more likely than the general population to experience another episode perinatally.

So in that respect your are more vulnerable, or at risk than those without a diagnosis. This would be more than expected in your situation, so if you like we could say that is normal.

That combined with the fact that your pregnancy was unplanned, would be contributing to your concerns and worries, and probably more so if this is your first baby?

What is known is that intervention can assist in reducing the severity of depression for the mother, and outcomes for the baby, that said I would strongly encourage you to seek support for yourself.

@PANDA might like to add to this discussion further?

Panda, a specialist perinatal anxiety & depression service would be a great resource for you, check them out here;

http://www.panda.org.au/

PANDA National Helpline

Mon to Fri, 10am - 5pm AEST

1300 726 306

Best wishes

Hi @renlucy,

Of course you are scared. What is happening to you is scary and no doubt overwhelming. Hopefully it helps to know that about 1 in 10 women are thought to experience anxiety or depression during pregnancy and with a history of anxiety you are more likely to be a statistic!

Good news though is that early assessment and treatment makes the world of difference. We speak with mums each day when they are caught off guard by severe anxiety early in their pregnancy. Of course it is normal for you to question everything at this point... it is hard enough managing anxiety let alone considering how you will manage a relationship and a new baby.

You have taken the first step by acknowledging that something is wrong and sharing your story. That is incredibly brave. Seeing your GP is a good next step, or, if you prefer, you can ring the PANDA Helpline and speak with one of our counsellors. We can explore your fears and concerns and work out a plan together! 1300 726 306 10am - 5pm Monday - Friday.

Take care @renlucy

PANDA team x

---

[QUOTE @renlucy I keep wondering to myself if I love him? Do I want this? He is one of the most beautiful beings on earth but my head is all over the place.

Has anyone else felt like this in their first trimester? It's so hard to distinguish between hormones/anxiety/emotions/reality.

Would love to hear your story. Please tell me I'm normal!" [END QUOTE]

Thanks, xx

Hi @renlucy

Firstly congratulations! Glad to read you were happy about the news. And regarding your question above about the father of your child, I think you have already answered it (most beautiful being on earth - it doesn't get much better than that!); listen to your heart in regards to this as it will always be your best guide.

You are totally normal. Even though the news is good it was unplanned and there is much for your mind to process - hence why it is all over the place. There are major life changes taking place and much to work out as your life now will never be the same; once you adjust your anxiety should settle.

Its true that if we have a pre-disposition to anxiety/depression it slightly increases the risks of perinatal/postnatal depression/blues - but not nessecarily. It can depend on whether our past depression/anxiety was triggered or made worse by hormonal changes (i.e. PMS). If you have struggled with depression/anxiety when menstrurating its wise just to keep a close eye on how the pregnancy develops - some women's hormones can correct themselves when pregnant (they feel better) - all women are different.

Gaining emotional support, especially from your partner, is very important to ward off any stresses that could also trigger an episode. Talking things through in an open and honest way should dispel any doubts and anxieties so that you can move towards looking forward to enjoying the precious new life you are about to bring into the world and that close special bond that can develop before and after the birth.

I did neglect the nutritional part of my diet and exercise when pregnant; together with being under considerable stress when I developed peri/post natal depression, (this can aid in throwing the hormones out), so addressing the latter and looking after yourself is also essential to avoiding the baby blues.

Again congratulations renlucy - I have no doubt once you have had time to adjust this will be one of the most fulfilling and wonderful life experiences that will only serve to enrich your life and that of your beautiful partner's. Wishing you both much happiness.

(not sure why my answer appeared in bold print and yours small print - still getting use to the format, lol.)

I second @Former-Member

Congrats. First trimester is known to be a difficult time and YES its HORMONES and YES its questioning everything and figuring out the biggest decisions of your life .. and Congrats again for being honest and reaching out ... but its NORMAL ... most doctors and GPs will tell you that. Dont over think your responses .. take care of you and bubs and be as nice as you can to trh partner you has to get used to being a part of a threesome now ... its called motherhood.

I actually dont think you should worry too much about the automated PANDA post at this stage ... (sorry PANDA) they always read with that line about ...it is good you have recognised something is wrong ... you arent even at post natal stage yet ... nothing is wrong or abnormal going through rapid mood shifts and being anxious ... as its a big and joyous job ahead of you ... take one step at a time . .. so dont put the horse before the cart by adding too many self doubts to a natural situation that many women deal with.

Take lots of good care of you. Do what you believe is best. Good Luck @renlucy

Hi @renlucy,
@Appleblossom and @Former-Member have offered some great advice and made some great points. Mood swings and a certain amount of worry is absolutely normal. Becoming a mother is a big deal involving huge changes so it is really normal to experience a whole range of confusing emotions. As @Appleblossom says, many women deal with anxiety.... what they do to deal with it varies based on how much it is impacting their daily functioning and relationships, and keeping in mind that anxiety and depression attended to in pregnancy reduces the risk of postnatal depression.

Congratulations on the exciting but overwhelming news that you are a mother! Know that seeking help does not make you weak, and you do not have to put on a happy face if you are struggling. If you are worried about how you are feeling and it is impacting on your daily life it is worth talking with people you trust.

Look after yourself @renlucy xx