universepocketSenior Contributor
10 year Psychosis
I have Bipolar 1. I'm medicated but recectly one of my medications started actually working. My anti psycotic. I didn't realise I was psychotic until I wasn't anymore. 6 weeks into taking my medication, my delusion left ( I'd been experiencing it for 1 or 2 years) and that was it. I thought I must have just snapped out of it because there was no other changes. I also didn't think too much of the fact that I had been dilusional for almost 2 years. But then a week ago, almost 6 months from my last change, I suddenly started feeling in touch with reality, my thoughts weren't jumbled, my view on the world had literally changed, my shoulders weren't sore anymore, my paranoia had gone, my emotions weren't flat anymore and I actually smiled and expresed my emotions but then the biggest change came. The "noise" in my head I'd always assumed was thoughts left. I told my mum ( who has studied psycology) and she immediately made me watch this video of a virtual reality simulation of psycosis. As soon as the voices started I just burst out in tears because it was like they had come back. I'll describe my experience with these sounds. They were always layered over each other, there was usually no clear message, I describe it like static on a radio. Once in a while that radio would tune in to a channel for a second and I'd hear a word or a sentence before it returned to whispers that seemed like screams and words all layered over each other. My voice, my internal monologue, would speak over the top of all of this noise and I would often have extreme trouble concentrating. I grew up thinking that they were a part of me. Do any of you relate to this or have you had a similar expreience? Am I schizoaffective.....or do any other bipolar people experience non-stop psychosis? Thanks! (sorry, my spelling is probably aweful)