I’ve just lost my support network

The last few days have been absolutely heart breaking and extremely gruelling.

My son came home for a few days, minus his gf and baby daughter. I was quite upset that we weren’t going to see our grand daughter. We have had a few issues with the gf and her mother and a whole bunch of lies being told to us since the baby was born.

I asked our son why they didn’t come home too, he gave a few rubbish excuses so I burst Into tears and asked for the truth. Finally he told me that his gf won’t come here if I’m in the picture because she is offended that I had called her mother a liar and that she was undermining both her and my son. I had also called her a liar. I had done this, but in a private text to him which she read. These weren’t little lies, these were about the baby being sick and taken to different doctors and paediatricians and hospitals, when in fact my son admitted yesterday the baby has only ever seen a health centre nurse, and definately isn’t sick.

It has been a hellish last few days with very little sleep. I have told my son I will clear out if they come up if that means the rest of our family can see or even meet the baby for the first time.

On top of all this my husband and I have been seeing a councellor for marriage councelling (I also see him one on one for CSA), our biggest issue being that my husband can not support me if his life depended on it. This was made evident when my father died and I had a falling out with my SIL, my husband sided with her. I have a terrible history of CSA and trust and support are a huge issue for me.

My councillor knows all of my story, past and present, he knows exactly how important trust and support is to me.

Today I over heard my husband talking to my son, it was a full on fan club meeting for the gf’s mother, both singing her praises like she was mother

of the year. My husband went on to then talk shit about me. I left the

house and messaged my councillor, telling him everything that had happened - and his response was in support of my husband.

I cant even begin to describe how betrayed I feel by all of them. My marriage is definately over, my husband knew this was his last and only chance, the deal breaker - he had to be supportive of me in a crisis, and once again he is far from it. I’m hurt beyond belief that my son has treated me this way. But the response from my councillor has completely floored me, of all the people that actually did understand me, he’s also turned his back. I will never trust him again. I will never go back to him again.

Im completely alone again. There is no one I trust or can turn to anymore. I feel so humiliated that I shared my CSA story with my husband or the councilor just to be discarded like this. I am so hurt I cant even begin to describe what is going through my head right now. I am totally crushed.