My ex-wife has just had a second episode of Physcosis

I am just going to say straight out that i really think the medication issue should be her choice she is the one that has to live with the side effects and i think it really should be her choice. and i think if she doesnt want to do that and there are still problems then maybe people should look at other ways to support her there are therapies and things you can do which maybe if she doesnt want to take meds your could try them first and see how it goes. of course the childs saftey is important so if there was issues around that maybe a new arangement could be made until your ex partner has found a way to manage that she feels is right for her.

This is just my opinion and everyone is different so you can totally ignore it if you want but I really think for any kind of treatment to work the person on the recieving end has to want to do it or it wont work out long term.

@MouseWheel Hi MouseWheel what a tricky situation for you to be in. How old is your child? by what you have said she must be quite young or is she old enough to understand about her mother's mental illness. Do you live close so that you can be on hand quickly for when this happens again (sounds like it will ....). Maybe you can have your daughter over a couple more days during the week to take the stress of your ex wife.

The thing is if you take over your daughter's care as the primary carer that could make your ex spiral out of control .... no one wants that. However she has to take responsibility as an adult and a mother ..... okay this is what I would do off the top of my hat ....

I would try and have daughter over more often. If not living close to ex I would be moving closer and spending more time with her to gauge her moods and what is happening. Worse comes to worse you have your daughter as your primary responsibility and you may have to go for sole custody until your ex gets control over her medical issues.

I am saying all this as a mother with schizoaffective who is on medication so that I never let down my kids again. I hope this helps. greenpea x

Hey GreenPea,

Thanks a lot for taking the time to reply.

Our daughter is only 3.5yrs old so she is very confused. She keeps asking me "Why is mummy at Doctors" and I just say "she has an ouchie on her head and that they're trying to help her fix it."

I did in fact move closer to try and be more helpful which it has a fraction. The real issue is because she does not believe in vaccanations and made the choice to keep our daughter at home she literally gets no reprieve during the day.

As for primary carer, I totally agree with you that doing so would make things worse. Our daughter is her best friend and I'd never want to take that from her.

I'm hoping she obtains clarity like you on what's important.

Thanks so much again Greenpea.

MW.

As I see it you have two problems. Firstly, you must look after your daughter and see that she is protected and cared for. Taking her away from her mother would probably be traumatic to both your daughter and your ex wife, To my mind it would also be rather cruel. Perhaps you could organise something like part time support help which might even help to alleviate the second problem of psychotic episodes.

Psychotic episodes are often triggered by something. It could be an external event or something like a very uncomfortable recurring memory. It could even be your child inadvertently triggering your ex wife's own childhood memories. When this all gets too uncomfortable or emotionally painful people sometimes escape the pain by "going mad". In simple terms this is what psychosis is.

A lot of people can't handle antipsychotic medications and they supress rather than resolve any underlying problem. I believe no one should be forced to take them against their will. There are other options but doctors will sometimes discredit them and even lie about them.

Please try and help your ex- wife find her own solution rather than forcing someone else's chemical solution onto her which she obviously doesn't want.. Remember there are many options.

Hi @MouseWheel

it’s such a difficult one. I feel for all of you. You seem to me to be a great dad very caring and supportive. And you’re caring and concerned fir your ex-wife.

Its good that you have moved closer to them.

With regards to meds - that’s a hard one. I don’t think anyone likes to take them. I know I’ve stopped mine quite a few times. But I do take them now. If it helps control our mental health then we need to. But saying that I also think that therapy needs to happen as well. Like seeing a psychologist to talk things through. Meds and therapy go hand in hand. I don’t think you could just do one. But that’s my opinion.

I feel thst maybe there is an underlying issue that is causing the psychosis.

Do you know if the doctors st the hospital have said anything?

I feel thst something is triggering her. And it’s scary to have to go to hospital by force.

But you want to protect your daughter. I do get thst. Any parent would.

I wish you well. And also your ex.

Let us know how things go

take care

Hey there @MouseWheel !

First and foremost your daughter's safety is paramount. No ifs or buts if you even have a hint (you don't just have a hint you have evidence) that your daughter is not being cared for you need to be her dad right now and be there for your little one. This is something I feel very strongly about and I'm purely looking at it from your daughter's perspective not who's feelings are going to get hurt. If you can keep it out of the courts and calmy discuss options perhaps it's best if your daughter lives informally with you for a while. If your ex resists call the police and have your daughter removed to a safe place.

Secondly I'm going to side with your Ex in that some of the medication is putrid! The side affects are appauling and if she's not getting the support to try a better fit of medication I can see perosnally why she's throwing in the towel for medication. At the end of the day you have now control of your ex nor if she was your wife and with anyone they have to want the change not be forced into it in my opinion. Perhaps once your daughter is safe living elsewhere she may come to realise there are ramficiations to her actions (no longer living with her daughter) but thats her call to make. As is it is your call to protect your daughter.

Please get your daughter to safety immediately. You never know when tomorrow will be too late.