A conversation with Sarah Wilson // Wed. 11 May // 7pm AEST

@Sarah108 I definitely get more anxious trying to decide what to focus on while avoiding alot of other thoughts. Decision making is so difficult that i tend to make everything into routines as much as i can so idont have to 'decide' what to do next and when.. at work i have particular focus days where i make sure that A is done and on Tuesdays i get prep done for B etc. but i find things can quickly spiral out of control for me if im also low and not getting as much done and then out of routine...

lj

All of it...... I think my anxeity comes from being bullied at school and fearing what everyone is thinking of me aswell as not knowing how things will work out

Hi @Sarah108

I use cognitive tools-- my hubby does not believe in those tools , hesaid heis too old to change , he doesn`t read

Yes @Former-Member, @Sarah108

I definitely get more anxious trying to decide what to focus on while avoiding alot of other thoughts. Decision making is so difficult that i tend to make everything into routines as much as i can so idont have to 'decide' what to do next and when..

yes my hubby agrees, but it is so hard to get a balance because something always happens

Hi @joannah and everyone,

Yes, I think that's good advice - remember that people mostly don't even notice you and are more concerned with themselves than with anyone else. This helps because anxiety can make us extremely self-conscious. I have general anxiety and social anxiety, too.

A lot of my anxiety seems to stem from fear of rejection and fear of being abandoned. These are actually very 'natural' fears that I think are present in everyone during childhood, and for good reason! It's kind of like I am stuck in childhood fear.

So what’s a loved one to do when we refuse to leave a panic attack? What has worked for you??

What do you think of these responses from a website I found? Do you think it's asking too much to expect loved ones to "get it"?

“Don’t give up on me when I isolate myself.” — Jen Jolly

“Give me some space, but don’t forget me.” — Vickie Boyette

“Get me to a quiet room where I can just be alone for a moment. My panic attacks normally happen because there’s too much noise or too many people. So getting away is the best.” — Amber Yats

“Help me to let time pass and let the panic attack run its course. Possibly, assist me in getting to a ‘safe’ spot.” — Kevin Joseph

“During a panic attack, ask if it’s OK if you come close. Getting in [my] face can make the attack worse. Sometimes holding my hand helps, sometimes it’s a trigger.” — Ashley Brown

“Keep yourself calm. I will eventually feed off your calmness and I’ll be able to calm down.” — Marissa Stone

I need you to reach out to me, even when I’m so anxious I’ve stopped leaving the house. I need to know someone still cares and wants to see me.” — Hayley Lyvers

I hear the need to impose some control within your life @Former-Member. How much does a sense of having things in order and under control help with the anxiety?

Hi @theaveragejoe, welcome. Good to hear that you're able to harness your anxiety.

what helps you when in an anxious panic?

For me, getting touched - a cheap Thai massage. I'm a meditator, but MEDITATION JUST WON'T CUT IT WHEN I'M SUPER ANXIOUS!!!! It make it worse...

I find small things work. Simple things. Often WEIRD things...

Other repsonses I've come across... which I liked becaues they were so unique and personal... do you do anything like this!?

“I take a big fluffy makeup brush and stroke my hand or my face with it. I keep a small size one in my purse for emergencies. It helps a lot if I’m out.”


“The act of taking my hair down and then braiding it always soothes me. So does someone else braiding or brushing my hair.”

“Wiggling! When I feel anxiety in my chest [and] it’s really bad, I’ll put on a song and literally dance it out. I pretend that I’m physically pulling the anxiety out of my chest, pull it or shake it out of my fingertips and slam it on the ground. This method has gotten me out of a lot of panic attacks.”

"I rock back and forth in my rocking chair. Eventually I calm down and the rocking goes down to almost nothing"

my social anxiety - which is so much better now - was based on the fear of not being perfect. I grew up with a perfectionist father who insisted on perfectionism. Once I left home I had a better perspective on perfectionism, but I am still a perfectionist at times, and in certain areas.