I’m lonely

Hello @Al1ce You have taken a really brave step in coming to the forum and seeking support. It is a great place to form connections and fill a little of that space by interacting with others. Feeling alone is certainly something that many here also feel - it is not a nice place to be sitting and it must feel just that little bit worse with friends recently moving away. Is there a way you can repair the relationship with the friend you had a falling out with - you may even find they are missing you as much as you are them. I don't know the circumstances around that falling out but most things are repairable with time and communication.

It would be great if you could introduce yourself on this thread here also - it will allow more people to welcome you and introduce themselves as well. I hope you find the forum a supportive place where you can make connections, talk to others and find a sense of belonging within this community. Welcome to the forum

Same here. I am lonely too. Imagine how it was 10 or 15 years ago before social media and group sites like this one. It was even more lonely for us. I often get told there is despite all these online communities and platforms an increase in people reporting that they are lonely than ever before. And people can be surrounded by large physical groups in the workplace, public transport, going to functions or attending clubs and yet they report loneliness. I don't have solutions for you as I am seeking answers too. But I want you to know I'm 41 too and lonely as well.

hi @Al1ce welcome to the forums. I hope you will find kind friends here as I have.

I'm unemployed due to my Mental Illness, in my mid 40's and have tackled extreme loneliness too. My MI was so bad I was totally isolated with no family or friends for 7 years, it was so lonely I had to build it back up from nothing.

I spent 2 years going to meetups to gradually build a network of friends. Now I have nice friends.

Hopefully your falling out with a friend is only temporary and you can patch things up with them in time. Good friends are hard to come by & I struggle a lot with maintaining some of my friendships. I think it is better to put the hard work in rather than burn bridges - that's just me.

Have you thought about trying a support group? I know lots of people who find them soothing and supportive & comforting, a place to confide all the things you can't say in normal situations like the workplace & with friends. Do you think it could be a good release for you?

Welcome @Al1ce, you're in good company here, some lovely people and a lot of support How is your weekend going?

Dear all,

thank you you so much for your kind replies ❤️

Fancy that, so many of us in our 40s! I’m tired now so won’t write much.

When I read your responses a tiny stone shifted off my heart.

I also realised it is my mental illness that makes me short with people and quick to react/ think the worst.

I recently flew back home from a mini break. I jerked awake as the plane landed. We waited. The seatbelt sign went off. A flurry of movement. The man across from me got up quickly and moved part in the aisle. We waited and waited. I got frustrated thinking he was trying to push in. Finally everyone started moving, I motioned to him to go in front, at the same time he motioned to me “You go” he looked at me kindly, “You fought sleep so long, but it got you in the end!”

I had been grumpy. Thinking he was impatient and trying to push in.

But that wasn’t the case at all.

I totally misjudged the situation. He was a nice person, who’d noticed how tired I was.

I remind myself my anxiety puts me on edge, makes me grumpy, suspecting the worse.

But my reality is not necessarily the reality.

If it takes me a few years to build friendships, that’s ok I’ll post here ☺️

Struggling again today. My resilience is terrible.

I really need to be able to sit down and talk to somebody. I’ve burnt all my bridges. I need to reach out to my friend. She often irritated and frustrated me .... but at least she was there.

I feel so alone with nobody to talk to 😔

I feel like I’m struggling in all areas of my life at the moment, even though I’m not.

I have a full time job with a decent salary. There are issues at work .... it’s chaotic.... and once again my resilience.... I need to build a support network.

Anyway, I’m terribly sad today 😔

We're sorry to hear that you feel sad today @Al1ce, if you aren't able to talk to any friends, are you able to call one of the support services? We're thinking of you.

Thank you. I should have called the helpline, i thought about it but then I was like .... what would I say? How would I stop....

I will call next time.

Don’t laugh but instead I went to a cuddle party, which lowered my cortisol somewhat .... but I still poured myself a glass of wine anyway...

I’m still really struggling 😔 constant anxiety .....

I’m thinking it might be time to get a mental health plan .... but what can it really do...

It will mean going back on anti depressants, which I don’t like the thought of. And psychologists are so hard to find outside business hours ... but this constant feeling of dread is horrid