My recent episode

Hi all, this is my first post here, newbie alert 🙂

Ive been home 6 days, thought id find a forum to join as i enjoy online interaction.

A little background on me.. First psych ward admission was back in 2008, left 3 weeks later with a diagnosis of Paraniod Schizophrenia. I was 30 years old. Between 2008 and 2010 there were a few more admissions, the last addmission my diagnosis was changed to Schizoaffective Disorder, with talks of Bipolar at this stage also. I had ECT treatment aswell during that time. Then from 2010 up until 6 weeks ago (March 2019) i lived quietly in the community, with no admissions for 9 years. I gave myself credit for that.

In October 2018 by chance I came off my antipsychotics, my psychiatrist gave me the choice to change medication due to side effects or watch and see approach. I of course jumped at the chance to watch and see, i had been taking medications every day since 2008 for these mental illnesses. 5 months, i lasted 5 months without antipsychotics.. Which brings me to March 2019. One night late in March i totally lost my crap and flew into a rage, was arrested under the mental health act and driven to hospital. I lost my crap again once admitted in emergency department, i was totaly delusional and i will leave out what i remembered at that stage. The next thing i remember was waking up in a seclusion room, i was again full of rage. Later i was out on the high dependancy ward for 1 week, i now have little memory of this time as i was heavly druged. Then i went to the adult acute ward for 3 weeks, so much happened there. Then onto Park facility for 1 week, and now im home. I have left alot out trying to keep this brief..

I have had time to reflect on this episode over the last 6 days. I have lived in goverment housing for 8 years, i wot begin to explain the horror i have endured but i will say i did keep alot of it bottled up inside trying to always be the peace keeper. I will now train myself as best i can to speak out, to have no tollerance for crap and keeping the peace will be a thing of the past.

I am very sad this happened to me, i was doing so well for so long and then almost half a year off meds too.

There is a few things i am greatful for though, i met some of the most beautiful people on the ward.

Thanks to a nurse who nursed me back between 2008-2010 and again this time, i might be doing a course in mental health peer worker, which i am very excited about.

I think this post is a bit all over the shop, but writting it down helps.

Thank you for reading, any questions are welcome 🙂

Kind regards