Treatment options

Just replying to your earlier post @Mumof2inblue.

Is your oldest old enough to talk with a bit about how the things you're feeling and going through aren't his or anyone's fault, or is he still a little little for that? How you're feeling with that one sounds like 'mum guilt'. That's a tough one.

I know that face you can get when you talk with people and it seems they think you're crazy. It makes it hard to keep talking or to reach out again 😏

You mentioned being afraid of losing your children if you reached out. Again I think that's something that many parents who live with mental health issues are concerned by. I've felt the fear of having my capacity to parent questioned because of my mental health issues and I've worried about my kids being taken when I'm not coping so well too. It's been terrifying. My kids are all school aged now but even still I'm fairly guarded ('protective' maybe) when it comes to my family and asking for support with my and our issues, though I do try to push through that when we really need. It's taken me a long time to believe it about myself, but I think that reaching out and being open and honest about how we're going is a sign of someone who is a great mum. I'd like to think that support people can and will see that too.

I noticed a link to PANDA was provided here earlier. Have you ever spoken with them? It's a great service and one that really understands how difficult it can be to reach out.

Hope your evening is going OK.

@CheerBear he just turned 3, so I have explained a bit how sometimes Mummy just gets sad and it’s not his fault at all. But he still seems to think it is :(, he says things like, im sorry Mummy (when he hasn’t done anything wrong) or you don’t like me because I’m naughty and do I make you sad Mummy, it’s probably also because I’m short with him when I’m struggling as he is very trying at times being 3.

I actually found this site through the Panda website.

I also have a Dr appointment this week so will lay it all out on the table and let my Dr know what’s going on.

Im definitely a sufferer of Mum guilt. I always feel like im wrecking my kids if that makes sense.

From previous experience people definitely treat you differently when they know you have mental health issues. It’s tough. I was hospitalised as a teen for months and these days most people I meet don’t know anything about it. I hate the way they look at me and treat me when they find out.

Fearing my children would be removed is a definite reason as to why I tend to try and push through when I’m feeling depressed. But this time because I realise it’s not just effecting me I have to do something about it. I’m not having any scary thoughts when it comes to my children. So I don’t think there are any grounds for them to be removed but it’s still in the back of my mind.

I just want to feel close to my children. But I don’t feel much of anything at the moment. Just hollow and sad.

Hopefully after i see see my Dr I have a plan in place to get through this.

Three is a really tricky age @Mumof2inblue and can be really trying at times. What you said about mum guilt makes a lot of sense. It's a really hard one to feel I think.

It's great that you have an appointment with your Dr this week. I also think it's great that you are working to find support and something to help you get through this hard time, even though it is scary. I think that's brave.

Very much hoping you'll find something helpful soon.

@CheerBear @Thank you for chatting with me

You're welcome @Mumof2inblue. It's been nice to 'meet' you.

I find it helpful to be here for a few reasons - one big one being the understanding company I find on the forum. Having a place to turn to and people around (even if it is anonymously) has made a big difference to me. Please keep chatting if it helps.

A few threads that come to mind if you're interested are the Good Morning thread and Night Shift.There's a parenting thread here where you can meet other parents too. You're also very welcome to keep posting on this thread (or anywhere). Sometimes having a vent and sharing what's happening is really helpful I find.

Thank you for the info @CheerBear

I saw my Dr yesterday and she has put me on medication 😞 I don’t really want it. However she assured me it’s safe and that I definitely need it. I’ve also been given a referral to go and talk to someone which I didn’t know was an option where I live.

I said I’ll try the meds but if I notice it changes my baby at all I won’t continue them.

fingers crossed it’s all fine.

Hi @CheerBear

Im nervous!! I’m not usually the kind of person to share my personal issues so even writing on here is hard. Will have to give it a go though. I can’t keep going like I am.

With the meds, I’m trying to not google them. As I know there is always conflicting advice online. Trying to trust my Dr on this one. It’s really hard though!