Hey there @Mumof2inblue thank you for posting. PPD being Paranoid Personality Disorder? It may be Post Partum Depression as well - will link resources to both below 🙂
I can definitely imaging being rural may feel hard at times in accessing treatment, you'll be pleased to know you're amongst friends here 🙂 A lot of our forum members are familiar with the disconnected feelings of numbness and emptiness, the body's way of coping no doubt.
You're not alone, and there are treatment options available. If it is PPD - In addition to our forum you could get in touch with the team at Project Air to see what's available rurally/online, SPECTRUM also has a lot of info on their site. I know a lot of these orgs focus on BPD and other disorders, but they should have the insight professionally to assist with linking you into treatment options.
If it is post partum, PANDA are a really great service!
What are you finding most difficult at the moment? Some of our community members may have some decent insight from lived experience too.
I'd recommend as you are new, having a quick look through our community guidelines as well. 🙂