BPD & Dealing with problems

Thanks for sharing your experience @Seven, it sounds like you are very self-aware of what is happening and also quite logical to know that your thoughts are due to BPD and OCD. Have you been able to tell your wife why you feel the way you do about her sister?

@Ali11 @CheerBear Hi guys!!

Thank you both very much for taking the time to reply. I have spoken to my wife about all of this and she agrees and has taken my side over the years on issues with her sister but its now at a point where she has been able to accept and move on and forgive her sister for some of the issues. I think this is great and I understand that you can not hold a grudge forever and I respect the fact that she is mature about this and is and has been the bigger person.

My problem is that I can not forget the mental pain and anxiety I went through to protect my wife and still going through. I think what I'm most affraid of is going through the extremely hard process of forgiveness which is so hard to do with BPD just to be hurt again.

I constantly explain to my wife that I just have a gut feeling that I will be hurt again from your sister and nothing with change. As I write this I sit here with such disappointment that I'm a grown middle age man that should be confident and proud and not let crap like this even remotely bother me but it does. I'm disappointed that I just can't get over it and move on like any normal man or women would do.

I'm not sure if anyone can relate but I'm a very successful person, I like nice things, I dress well, I'm super fit, love going to the gym, eat healthy have two amazing kids that archive the greatest things in everything they do. From an outsider looking in on my life you would say everything is perfect, I even run my own business and am super motivated to archieve and do better everyday.

But on the inside my mind spends 99% of the day worrying about how someone might hurt me emotionally.

Sorry all, just venting but I hope that maybe by me opening up about my thoughts and feelings that someone else might read this and say "Wow that guys sounds exactly like me" and that it might make them feel a bit better about themselves knowing they are not alone as well.

My other major issue (I only really have two issues I deal with on a daily basis) is the fact that I always worry about my wife and her ex partners and or her cheating on me with someone I know. I constantly get movies playing in my head of my wife laying in bed with her ex partners sleeping with them. She has been honest with me about this and I appreciate that but I just can't help to think about her enjoying herself with others and not me. She always tells me that " I chose you not them" and I get that but I still have this doubt in my mind that she enjoyed sleeping with them more than she does with me. Does anyone else have thoughts like this? How do I move on? I understand that this obviously stems from self doubt that I have about myself or confidence issues but thats the BPD kicking in, we all have issues about who we are and if we are good enough for ourselves and others.

I'm a very intellegent person, just like most people with Depression, Anxiety, OCD, BPD, Bipolar etc, its like our brains are constantly cranked up to the speed of 20 when everyone else is dialled in around 7 or 8.

The thing is....I understand the lodgic around why and how BPD works and why we/I have this issues but the problem is that its like my brain sees the problem but just can't fix it.

Sorry for the long winded brain dump but I just feel if there is anyone else out there that goes through this sort of thing on a daily basis it would be nice to hear from you and share your views on how you deal with it.

Have a great day everyone, thank you to all those that reply and put in time to support other on here, you do a fantastic job!!! LEST WE FORGET today!! 😉

Good morning everyone,

How do I go about trying to repair my relationship with my wife, I have BPD and have pushed her away over the last few years to a point where we sleep in different bedrooms and she is threating to leave me soon and move out as she sees thats the only way to create distance so we can heal.

What do I do? Do I just keep my mouth shut and try to rebuild the trust in the relationship?

Does anyone else live with someone with BPD and how do you manage with it?

Thank you

Hey @Seven, apologies for the long delay in responding to you. We hope you had a better day today. Self-doubt can be cruel in that it affects everyone - yourself and your family. It sounds like you both have a lot of healing to do, is there someone that you both can talk to together?