Crashed and burned

Hi @Meowmy they know and aware how things could possibly go. I could never tell them what is occurring already as I don't want to let them down.

You see, the pressure is on to be okay as I am going away next weekend.

I see my support worker next Wednesday. Looking forward to that.

@Queenie please make sure you have plenty of support. It can be dangerous changing significant meds outside hospital.Also what you are feeling is very normal given the circumstances. Please take great care.

I have to stay out of hospital as much as possible. I have too much to lose going in that place @Meowmy . I still feel my click clacky brain churning away. I am sure I am not psychotic as I am still in control, but rather, it is withdrawals from the meds which has me ensnared. I have weird sleep. Sleep during the day and awake all night. I am becoming nocturnal again. I hate that as it is so isolating.

I copied and pasted my post describing how I feel into a text message to my Mrs. she read it and is really concerned. She said it is okay if I need to go into hospital after this weekend coming. I'm scared of losing it all.

@Queenie Please play it safe. Monitor each step carefully. You wouldn’t want to go backwards. Tardive dyskinesia is serious. This is crucial period of your life. You will need professional experts to help you through. You also has your partner. Please take great care.

Should I tell my therapist about what has been happening to me? I've decided the sound my brain is making is like a xylophone made of wood being struck.... clack, clack, click. I still have the bugs crawling around in my field of vision like huuuuge vitreous floaters (but they aren't because I've never seen floaters with wings or centipedes).

I see my therapist in a couple of hours.

@Queenie Going off major meds need to be carefully monitored by professionals.It is very important they know what is happening. I really hope it would all work out for you. Very now is crucial time. Take care.

Hi @Meowmy , I told her everything and she was of the opinion it isn't very fair I have to wait until next week without medication while it is obviously having an effect on me with symptoms occurring. She is going to phone him tomorrow.

Hi everyone, I’m in the hospital presently. I’m still experiencing what staff have dubbed “psychotic experiences” although my mood is far better now. I found out my psychiatrist is retiring soon, so that’s another support gone. He used to bulk bill me as he knows I cannot afford to see him. No other shrink within a reasonable distance bulk bills, so no more psychiatric care. The public system won’t touch me because I’m a private patient.

I’m so dopey due to medication! Please forgive me in advance for my mistakes in typing. One of my antipsychotic meds is at a high dose, sedating me a lot.

Hello gentle forumites

I am still in hospital and my body is fighting the sedative effects of the medication I have. I am yet to attend group therapy as I am always asleep. Hopefully today is the day I can do that. Schizoaffective disorder is so complicated isn’t it? If I don’t have voices or bugs 🐜I have crushing paranoia. At least my mood has stabilised for now.

Well the voices have woken up now. I knew they were sleeping and was hoping that they'd stay asleep. At least I can't hear my brain thinking now (trust me that noise was really annoying and frustrating to say the least). My wife visited me yesterday and brought all my Robbie Williams DVDs up and my DVD player, so that's a plus! I am also getting some study done as I can. I have two more questions to answer and then I can submit another assignment. Trouble is, they are tough questions requiring my noggin to focus (which is difficult with the sedating effects of medications). The nurses won't let me stay in bed too long now (I was sleeping 20hrs a day) so to develop healthy habits. I also have low blood pressure at the moment (100/68) so the wooziness is like being on a ship at sea and I stagger a bit about the ward.

I might see if I can go outside... I have leave to come and go as I please for up to two hours per day. I may as well take advantage of that situation, lest it changes.