I always stuff up

Sending you many virtual hugs

I'm really sorry to hear you're not doing so well @BlueBay

You refer to 'stuffing up' - did something happen?

I'm worried about some of the feelings that you expressed and have sent you a quick email to check in.

Please keep the following crisis services in mind if you are feeling very distressed. You don't deserve to go through this alone.

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

@BlueBay

I can imagine your husband getting angry at you must make your feel quite alone.

It's so hard (well.. impossible) to control other people's reactions - all we can control are ourselves.

I'm not sure exactly what you said that he had a negative reaction to, but I can't imagine you having bad intent in what you were doing / saying.

So if this is the case, you haven't stuffed up anything.

Hi @BlueBay,

I get this totally. I am feeling the same. This is my first post on a forum and I am struggling just like you. I can't find a way to cope with everyday living without being so constantly intense and on edge. I have tried so hard lately to make things ok but my attempts always backfire. My brain always tells me it's not good enough. Nothing is ever good enough. I think maybe I feel some of the things you do. I just want to find peace and feel normal.

cheers Teej

Hi Teej

I am Lola one of the moderators.....wanted to say welcome to the forum and hoping tht you benefit from the interactions with others.

It can be tough to re-write the script in your brain but I hope that you can hear that you are good enough!

Welcome

Lola

Thank you 🙂

Hi @NikNik

Thank you for your 'hugs' last night. I really needed someone to just put their arms around me, take me under their wing and just hold me. But that will never happen. So thanks for your 'cyber hugs'.

I never intend to say anything bad or hurtful to anyone. That is not me - but - lately I snap so easily, I say things that may not sound right or good and people react to my behaviour. And i think because my anxiety is so high with too much going on in my head that I can't even explain that to my husband. I'm hopeless aren't I? Can't even talk to my husband about how I am feeling or what's going on. I feel so angry towards myself.

I just hate myself so much lately. I try to be better, I really do but at times I struggle so much because I feel so alone in my struggles. I feel that no one understands me or how i feel. It's my head that tells me so much - I'm never good enough for anyone; i always do the wrong things; etc etc

I am so exhausted, can't concentrate; really need a break from life. I just want to cry.

Hi @Former-Member

Welcome to the forum!!

Thank you for your post, you're very first one. It's a great forum to be involved in; the people on here are so caring, genuine and supportive. Hope to see you on here a bit more 🙂

Take care

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@Sadgirl wrote:

I never intend to say anything bad or hurtful to anyone. That is not me - but - lately I snap so easily, I say things that may not sound right or good and people react to my behaviour. And i think because my anxiety is so high with too much going on in my head that I can't even explain that to my husband. I'm hopeless aren't I? Can't even talk to my husband about how I am feeling or what's going on. I feel so angry towards myself.

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Hi @BlueBay,

I'm sorry to hear that your anxiety is running so high. I hope you are a bit better this morning. Please don't think that you always stuff up - that can't be true. It's just the frame of mind you are in right now.

I was wondering could you write your husband a letter, explaining how you feel? It can sometimes be very therapeutic to write things down... and also he might see it as a sign that you really do care about him as you are taking the time to explain things to him.

I see that you are very good at expressing yourself with the written word. You can write.

Snapping at people can be a symptom of anxiety. I did not even know this until my psychiatrist told me. I was talking about my family dynamics and I have a brother with a bad temper- then my psychiatrist told me that anxiety causes outbursts of temper. My Mum was also like this - she snapped at people constantly and her anxiety was off the scale. It's no wonder that I suffer from anxiety myself. It runs in my family.

I can remember a lot of times I felt anxious in close relationships and I lashed out with sarcastic comments. I felt so bad afterwards... but now at least I know where my behaviour stems from. Behind my anger was pain I felt at not being heard or taken seriously. A lot of it was my over-reacting. When you are anxious, everything feels like a threat. People may say or do something perfectly harmless or at least do it unintentionally, but to us anxiety sufferers it feels like a criticism or insult in some way.

That used to happen to me all the time. You are so right; it is exhausing.

I hope you can do something nice for yourself today and have some time out. Just focus on yourself and what you want right now, if you can. I have also found that having a good cry can release a lot of the pressure we feel building up inside us. It can make us feel better.